From WWE.com:
Daniel Bryan def. Kane
In a hard-fought rematch between former WWE Tag Team Champions, Daniel Bryan and Kane, WWE’s Director of Operations took control of the match early with a flurry of strikes. Unleashing his rage on Bryan, Kane slowly and methodically used his size and strength to dismantle his former partner.
Seizing an opportunity to move on the offensive, Daniel Bryan unleashed his own calculated strategy, targeting Kane’s knee with swift kicks and using the ring post to his advantage. Although The Corporate Monster did fight back, Bryan continued to target Kane’s knee.
The resiliency of WWE’s Director of Operations was on display as he continued to fight through the pain of The Beard’s knee strikes. Having reigned as WWE Tag Team Champions, both Superstars were familiar with each other’s in-ring abilities as the match pushed forward and neither remained in control for long.
After an intense volley inside the squared circle with both Kane and Daniel Bryan throwing everything in their arsenals at each other, The Big Red Monster prepared to secure the win with a chokeslam. However, Bryan managed to counter the maneuver into a pin-fall to pick up the victory.
Following the match, the Director of Operations expressed his anger – not over his loss – but rather at Bryan’s continued challenge to WWE COO Triple H’s authority, vowing to take down the leader of the “YES!” Movement once and for all.
Ladies (and gentlemen, if there are any of you lurking) – allow me to present approximately one half hour of the finest Kane porn ever produced on the WWE.
Because hot DAMN, this ticked all the boxes!
(This from Kane’s Official Facebook page)
Kane 4 March 2014 – WWE Main Event photos
Okay, let’s get this porn kicked off right! Kane is bare chested – this is great.
Kane stripped coming down to the ring (not pictured) – this is fucking awesome!
Kane is fucking ripped … porn-eriffic!
Kane was a vicious growling beast – excellent! Love how he uses DBryan’s beard as a handle! 😉
Acres upon acres of exposed rippling muscles … sweet jesus, that is HAWT!!
Pats sent me this one while I was working … resulting in a period of lessened productivity where I could do nothing but stare at my phone. Ripped. As. Fuck.
Also wearing his knee brace and wrestling boots under his dress pants? Kinda destroys my fantasy of “Fuck that – let’s rumble!” But I’ll forgive him because he’s demonstrating his extraordinary flexibility and rippling abs. 😉
Ouch!
But – and seriously, this is killing me – those abs. Those luscious abs. And the hint of the little denty bits just in from his hips – I got no idea what they’re called, but they are seriously one of my favourite spots on a man, and now I can see them on Kane and my brain goes to mush and my ovaries a’splode …
Bare chested. In dress pants. A lusty Kane fangirl’s dream come true!
Oh and I almost forgot the best part! If you watch closely – and maybe it helps having a big screen TV – you’ll notice that not only is Kane no longer shaving his chest, but also his abs. Dear gods, love me some body hair on a man!
But what’s even better than that is this – watch closely at Kane’s back when he’s bent over. Because while there’s still no VPL, he’s wearing black briefs under those dress pants. Might even be Calvin Kleins.
I do know that seeing that had me hitting pause, rewinding and watching again while my ovaries went into a complete meltdown!
Speculation is that maybe he wears a thong … 😉
This one amuses me! See how Kane’s got his arm hooked around the top rope? Pretty sure this was meant to be DBryan drop kicking Kane and flipping him over the top rope.
Only DBryan landed too close and Kane couldn’t get those long (long, long) legs up for the flip over, because DBryan was in the way. Instead – and this is years of experience and professionalism on Kane’s part – Kane dropped to the mat and rolled out from under the ropes to the outside, so DBryan could do the flying goat dive through the ropes at him.
While I may rave (somewhat incessantly, I’ll admit!) about Kane’s body, this is the real reason I am such a fan. Because he is so fucking good at this.
That said? Him leaning back against the ropes like that – if you take DBryan’s feet away from his chest – is pornographically lovely!
😉
Talk about pornographically lovely – those shoulders. Holy crap, those shoulders!
Plus, Kane flat on his back? Bare chested? In dress pants? Yeah, that’s ticking all the boxes for me! 😉
And dear gods, DBryan being able to roll Kane up like that for the pin? Speaks volumes for Kane’s flexibility!
Also shows off rippling chest and abs as well – bonus!
WWE.com has match video here, and yes, it’s two minutes of absolute porn.
Check out Kane’s DDT at 0:20 – he is still amazingly athletic for a guy his size!
Ten seconds later, and we’re almost treated to a full-on Kane tanty when he only gets a two count out of the pin-fall. It’s utterly adorkable, mixed with porn-eriffic!
A brutal series of clubbing clotheslines, Kane growling at DBryan about “Do you know who we are?” – all the while glistening with sweat. Lord have mercy!
There’s another almost-tanty after the pin-fall. And if you watch closely, you’ll see a scratch on the right side of Kane’s neck – it’s more evident in his backstage segment a bit later. Where I’m sure he said something important, but I was too busy whimpering and wiping the drool off my chin to get the gist of it!
But the real story here actually played out on social media.
First, WWE tweeted this before Main Event aired:
And then followed it up with this after the show:
Same picture, different captions – do they not get that some of us use both? 😉
However, delving into this more deeply – also known as saving that picture off for a good look at it – we get this:
And that’s where the fun really starts. Because if you look more closely at this picture, you’ll notice that Kane is no longer shaving his chest.
As Pats says, “Bless his fur covered heart!”
Furry chest. Those epic fucking shoulders. A close up view of his nipples. Seriously, this is soft core porn!
That goofy smile.
Well hell.
Now, for a brief period, I was using the pic that Pats sent me as my phone’s wallpaper. Which really only gave me the rippling abs and chest, but hey, I’m good with objectifying that luscious hunk of manflesh!
But the minute I saw this one, yep, phone wallpaper! And it gives me an awesome happy every time I turn my phone on!
Oh, and I’ve hit the “Keep” button on my DVR for Main Event. Because no one in their right mind would delete porn that good. Especially when it’s viewable on a big screen TV! 😉
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The Brothers of Destruction 