From WWE.com:
Batista and Daniel Bryan’s conflict led to SmackDown main event!
DETROIT – While a colossal SmackDown main event took center stage, the conquering new WWE Tag Team Champion Usos also returned to Friday night and a Shield Summit threatened to completely destroy The Hounds of Justice.
Scoffing at the collective boos of the WWE Universe, Batista relished in “destroying” Dolph Ziggler and Daniel Bryan in consecutive matches on SmackDown and Raw. Then, when The Beard emerged, Batista regarded him as nothing more than an “overgrown fan.”
In turn, WWE’s “Yes!” Man pointed out that – without the interference of Randy Orton, Corporate Kane and WWE COO Triple H on Monday night – the “fan” would have defeated the WrestleMania No. 1 contender to the WWE World Heavyweight Title. When Batista threatened to end Bryan’s existence in “his universe,” Bryan only poked a bigger stick at The Animal, inciting a conflict that ended with Batista being sent out of the ring. However, when Kane’s entrance led to a 2-on-1 assault, a returning Big Show charged the ring to even the odds and sent the aggressors to a hasty retreat.
As a result of the bedlam, SmackDown General Manager Vickie Guerrero made a huge main event match: Daniel Bryan & Big Show vs. Kane & Batista!
Kane 7 March 2014 – Batista and Bryan conflict leads to huge SmackDown main event: Photos
First, let me ask – who the fuck is dressing Botchtista? Because he looks … words fail me. “Ridiculous” comes to mind. Like an older guy wanting everyone to think he’s young and hip … and failing miserably.
So, Botchtista and DBryan start a war of words, then Botchtista calls DBryan the one thing guaranteed to get DBryan even more over – he calls him “a fan”. Well hell, DBryan’s just like us? And The Authority won’t give him a shot? Jeez, that’s all I needed to hear!
” … Kane soon joins in and a 2-on-1 beat down begins.”
Kane, stripped out of his white business shirt – gawd, that stripping is HAWT! – and in the dress pants (and wrestling boots) is WAY hotter than Botchtista looking … tragically awful.
That man has epic forearms, and the naked hands get me too. But oh yeah, bare chested – we’ll have lots more of that, please!
Kane and Botchtista bail when Big Show appears.
Abs.
-purr!-
And then Vickie comes out to match the match for later!
WWE.com has the video here – enjoy the first four and a half minutes for DBryan pwning Botchtista on the mic (Seriously, Dave? You were off doing movies and you still can’t get your lines right? Were you waiting for someone to yell “Cut!” and for you to get another go at it? Sheesh!)
What’s truly relevant to our interests starts around 4:45, where, thanks to some judicious cutting – bastards! – we only get a few seconds of Kane stripping as he heads to the ring. Guys, c’mon! The stripping’s the best part!
Then there’s the kicking and stomping and abs and rippling muscles and all is good to kick off SmackDown!
Again, from WWE.com:
Daniel Bryan & Big Show def. Batista & Kane
As the SmackDown tag team main event collapsed into an all-out melee, Big Show’s battle with Batista moved outside the ring and culminated with the giant hurling The Animal into the steel ring post.
Then, as Kane grabbed the ropes in order to stop Daniel Bryan from rolling him up – looking ready to attempt a chokeslam in the process – The World’s Largest Athlete hit the Director of Operations with a KO Punch through the ropes. This allowed The Beard to pick up another huge victory. “YES!”
Look, I’ll admit, I’d like to see Kane pick up some wins. But maybe – and it’s a faint hope at best – this is building to the point where Kane decides he wants to put the mask back on and go back to being a monster so he can start winning.
For the moment, though – I’m happy we’re still seeing him on TV every week (or nearly every week). The fact that right now he’s bare chested in dress pants is something we should all be celebrating! 😉
Kane 7 March 2014 – Daniel Bryan & Big Show vs. Batista & Kane: Photos
“Kane & Batista join forces to take on Daniel Bryan & Big Show.”
No entrances shown – man, I wonder if that bruised Botchtista’s ego? -snickering-
Kane. Bare chest. Furry chest. Furry abs. Ripped. Me likes!
“For a long time now, the Director of Operations has had a problem with his one-time tag team partner.”
And he’s taken out those problems in the gym, because he is as ripped as fuck!
Jesus wept. You think if I told him he had a beautiful body, he’d hold it against me? 😉
He is doing an absolutely masterful job at putting DBryan over!
While treating us to displays of naked rippling muscles like this … man can multitask! 😉
Just awestruck at how good he looks!
Plus, he did such a great job in the ring, as compared to Botchtista.
“Big Show returns to SmackDown … ”
Big Show who? All I can see is Kane.
…
HolyMaryMotherOfGod! Stretched back in the corner like that, looking like the most delectable all you can eat buffet imaginable! Seeing that happy trail down the centre of his abs. Seeing those awesome abs.
Okay, not such a fan of Show being about to give him one mother of a slap to the chest but still!
” … ready to unleash a giant impact on his adversaries.”
Kane and Botchtista going for the double suplex, and having the tables turned on them. And fortunately Kane was closest to the camera, so you couldn’t really see how sloppy Botchtista was.
Oh, I’d buy that for a dollar!
Jesus, the rippling back and shoulder muscles, right down to that spectacular ass! And still no VPL! It’s gotta be a thong! What say we mount a fact finding mission? I got a current passport! 😉
Or we could just do like Pats and pray for a memorable wardrobe malfunction!
Incoming!
And we’re once again treated to rippling back muscles and squeee! I’d forgotten how much I missed those little dimples just above his waistband there!
“But let’s not rule out Corporate Kane just yet … ”
With the abs, and the shoulders and the sheet brute strength and oh god, bare chested and pornographically beautiful!
And growling, let’s not forget growling!
“Bryan takes the fight to the next level.”
Kane flat on his back like that takes my mind to new levels …
Just a few feet to the right and this would have been a perfect camera angle! 😉
Seriously, seeing Kane flat on his back like that should come with an X rating!
“Following a KO Punch by Big Show, Bryan picks up the victory.”
-mad snickering fit- And this pic should come with an X rating too! Jeez, I can hear the slash writers salivating now! #WasteOfTwoPerfectlyGoodWhiteBoys
Disregarding that part, dear gods, those shoulders and that flexibility! Bet Botchtista couldn’t manage that! 😉
Forget Big Show, check out Kane in the background … do you think he needs someone to kiss a boo-boo better? 😉
WWE.com has video here – doesn’t take long for Kane to get tagged in, after Botchtista botches DBryan’s counter to the Batista Bomb (-facepalm-), and he and Big Show go at it for a bit. Big Show lays Kane out, and while DBryan is tagged in and goes up top, Kane squirms in a complete 180 to be flat on his back for the diving headbutt!
And at about 1:55, we get the money show to end all money shots! -snickering-
Kane and DBryan in the closing stages of the match – Kane goes for the chokeslam, DBryan counters and goes for the roll up he used on Main Event. Instead, Kane ripples his shoulder porn over to the ropes and reaches down with one big paw to grab DBryan in another goozle and Big Show hits him with the KO Punch (whatever happened to calling that the Weapon of Mass Destruction?) and DBryan this time does get the roll up.
And we’re done, except for the replay!
Ooh, a little poking around on WWE.com – I was looking for the backstage bit with Kane and Botchtista, but instead I found this! Kane’s entrance for the tag match! Told you all the WWE App “exclusives” ended up on WWE.com!
Amusing moment as he’s about to get into the ring, and some guy in the audience is holding up a DBryan beard t-shirt – Kane pauses, looks at it, and then shakes his head as he climbs the steps into the ring.
You can also still see the scratch on his neck from Main Event.
They make mention of Kane’s backstage interview – how he threatened to rip DBryan’s beard off his face and stuff it down his throat – seriously, if you can find it on YouTube or Hulu, hit it up, because that was funny!
There’s actually a nice moment in this clip when Botchtista’s music hits and Kane is in the ring, and he’s applauding for Dave. That’s professionalism. And working the crowd – god knows, someone’s got to try to get Dave over, because right now, he’s not getting heel heat, he’s just getting booed.
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The Brothers of Destruction 