Well good morning campers! (Actually, it’s not morning, but you know … besides, it may be afternoon or evening where you are when you read this so, whatever floats your boat in your current time zone!)
Been pretty damn quiet around here, huh? -hand up- That’s on me, of course.
See, it’s been kind of hard to get enthusiastic as a Brothers of Destruction fan in the wake of WrestleMania.
That felt like not one but two kicks in the teeth.
First, Kane has a “blink and you’ll miss it” showing.
Not that those can’t be good – hell, his eight second match against Chavo Guerrero was all kinds of good, given he walked out with a grin a mile wide as ECW Champion. (Plus, he’d been in the pre-show Battle royal, although I didn’t see it.)
This year, though? Forget any and all bullshit about how they were there to “build up” The Shield – the New Age Outlaws were in a match at ‘Mania to satisfy their egos, and Triple H’s.
So the spotlight was theirs, and Kane was just in it to make up the numbers.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, they broke The Streak.
Yes, I know that ‘Taker had to be on board with that decision, but that didn’t make it any easier to watch.
Plus it was a monumentally crappy and half-assed build to a major match – again, due largely in part to Triple H’s ego. After all, gods forbid that anything take the spotlight away from his match in any way, shape or form.
Post-‘Mania, it seemed Kane was at least going to get a decent storyline in destroying DBryan at The Authority’s behest.
A run that was screwed up by bad writing. Kane was suddenly inexplicably back in the mask. No one really explained why – there was some bullshit about Stephanie “raising the monster within”, but hell, they never adequately explained why Kane took the mask off in the first place, so why would we expect any different now?
We were “treated” to Kane as a couple-terrorising monster for a few weeks.
Which we’ve already seen. Numerous times. And with female wrestlers who could act, at least. Brie Bella, sadly, cannot.
Then the bad news that DBryan had to have surgery and was going to be gone for real and … screeching halt again for Kane.
After that? A hopeless bloody mish-mash of Kane not being on TV, and when he was on TV, jobbing to guys he should be destroying … all the stuff that just sucks the joy out of wrestling – for me, anyway.
The background to all of this was WWE’s financial woes. Not cracking that magic one million subscribers for the WWE Network, making TV deals for less money, and the stock price plummeted.
Cue the immediate rush to cut costs – a rash of wrestler releases, and staffing cuts in Corporate. Half a dozen writers were let go in Creative – not that anyone probably noticed. Hell, we likely never saw any of their work, since it appears Vince is still re-writing the RAW script in its entirety the afternoon of the broadcast. If someone were doing that to my work on a regular basis? I’d be glad to be let go!
Worse, the WWE Network continued to disappoint shareholders. Coming up to the mark when folks’ initial six month commitment ran out, it soon became apparent that great swathes of them were choosing not to re-up. And new subscribers weren’t quite filling the gap. A situation likely to continue in coming months.
The solution? Turn RAW into a three hour commercial for the Network. With breaks for an occasional wrestling match. Where the commentary continues to harp on the Network.
Considering a large segment of the audience have, until recently, had no access to the Network (myself included), it’s particularly unappealing.
I do have access now – yay? But it’s only via the WWE App and over my devices. If I could find a way to stream from my tablet to my big screen TV … I still wouldn’t be interested. Because, yes, the PPVs would be cheap, but would blow out my data limit with my ISP – see, lots of folk don’t have unlimited data, so this really isn’t a viable option.
I foresee unhappy shareholders for years to come. And more and more budget cuts.
All of this to say … yeah, my interest in wading through three hours of RAW for two minutes of Kane has been limited. Trawling WWE.com for paltry digitals and then mustering the enthusiasm to post them has likewise been missing.
There is however a bright spot on the horizon.
Kane has inexplicably unmasked again. So we’re back to Corporate Kane.
Corporate Kane who comes with bonus stripping.
Man, I loves me some Stripping!Kane!
Even better, Corporate Kane is right back to Wrestling!Kane – because he’s a hands-on Director of Operations, doncha know?
Wrestling!Kane. In dress pants. Bare-chested … you have my attention.
I’m prepared to be disappointed again. Cynically, I suspect extra TV time and unmasking is due to the fact they’ve finally set a release date for See No Evil 2 (21 October – YAY!).
But that comes with teaser clips like this one, courtesy of the See No Evil 2 facebook page:
… HolyMaryMotherOFGodPrayForUsSinnersNow!
Talk about going to my happy place!
So yes, I’m back!
Corporate Kane is back!
I’m not going to attempt any kind of catch up. Hell, I may not even post every single appearance.
But I am committed to celebrating the pornographic loveliness that’s finally returned!
You have been warned!
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The Brothers of Destruction 