The Brothers of Destruction

WWE's Kane and The Undertaker – all Brothers, all the time!


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8 April 2013: RAW digitals – Undertaker and Kane

From WWE.com:

The Shield interrupted The Undertaker’s tribute to Paul Bearer

With his immortal WrestleMania Streak extended to 21-0, The Undertaker came to Raw to pay proper homage to the legacy of Paul Bearer. With Bearer’s sacred urn finally returned to him, The Phenom picked up a microphone to pay his long-awaited homage to The Father of Destruction.

But the ceremony was short-lived, cut off by the crackle of static and the sudden appearance of The Shield, who made their boldest play yet by encircling The Lord of Darkness in apparent preparation to strike. The cavalry soon arrived in the form of Kane, who stormed to big brother’s aid with Daniel Bryan hot on his heels. Team Hell No quickly joined The Deadman to drive the “Hounds of Justice” back to their den, preserving the honor of Bearer’s memory and bringing the tribute to a triumphant end. As the man himself might say: Oh, yes.

And yep, talk about your fangirl screaming!!! Brothers of Destruction!!!!

Undertaker and Kane 8 April 2013 – The Shield interrupts The Undertaker’s WrestleMania 29 victory celebration: Photos

“The Undertaker appears on Raw one night after his historic victory at WrestleMania 29.”

Cause for celebration right there!!

Okay, so getting a better look at the new coat now and . . . ruffles? Dear gods, sometimes I despair of the people who design these things!

That said, the man still gave me a wicked case of goosebumps!

So damned beautiful!

” “Last night at WrestleMania I dedicated that match to the memory of Paul Bearer,” The Undertaker says.”

I got a tiny bit teary at that.

-sighs- First time he got the chance to truly rock the mic without that ghastly storyline overshadowing it.

“The Phenom is quickly interrupted by The Shield!”

You know, I’m reminded of a passage in one of Mick Foley’s books, where he complains to Paul Bearer about how the crowd is no longer into decent promos, and that all they seem to want or understand is “a snappy catchphrase or a pair of tits”.

Right back to that now, thanks to WWE dumbing down the product so much. God forbid one of the great promo guys like ‘Taker gets to use his skills (but don’t get me started on how Triple H or The Rock always seem to get plenty of air time with a mic).

On the plus side, once The Shield arrived, we did get ‘Taker stripping – now that was hot!

And he was moving pretty good for a guy who’d had a big match the night before – unlike certain other people who didn’t even show up . . .

“WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No arrive in the ring, showing solidarity toward The Undertaker.”

I knew it was going to happen. Thanks to a tweet from Alex and this recap on WWE.com. And I still screamed when the pyros hit!! So damned excited about a Brothers of Destruction reunion!!

And they arrived at a run too! No screwing around, and both dived in under the bottom rope and holy crap, yeah, loving Kane’s new costuming!!

The Shield scatter like the motherless dogs they are, and oh my fuckin’ gods, Brothers of Destruction!! (With DBryan looking like . . . their goatfaced mascot? -snickering-)

Brothers of Destruction, both in singlets – oh my brothers, lookit the chestporn!

“The Shield retreats . . . this time.”

Too much hotness in the ring to compete with – ha!

Holy shit, the chestporn and shoulderporn in this ring probably exceed safe limits, but I ain’t about to shut this down!

-sighs- And this time, we get a view of the new design on ‘Taker’s tights – RIP Paul Bearer . . .

Oh so goddamned beautiful. Yeah, let’s have a Brothers of Destruction run against the Shield!! Just to have more ‘Taker on our screens, with our lovely Kane at his side!

WWE.com has video here – do yourself a favour and full-screen this!

Because as Pats and I realised, the girls in costuming have also modified Kane’s tights because holy freakin’ hells, there’s some package shots in this vid that are pornographically lovely! And don’t even get me started on the comparison shopping that followed . . . and yes, this would be one reason why a Brothers of Destruction run is wanted so badly! 😉

Funny, WWE.com asked what the most exciting moment of the night was:

And it wasn’t even anything that happened on air. This amazing photo was tweeted by @arda_ocal (it comes from @SteveTSN):

And yes, then it showed up all over, but special thanks to Pats and Alex for pointing it out to me!

But then these ones showed up on Tumblr (and who knows who that person stole them from – Tumblr is a den of thieves, so I feel no obligation to credit anything posted there, unless it’s been appropriately credited in the first place):

Oh yeah, that is hands down the moment of the night!!!

And here’s another view of that, from Facebook:

I can only imagine how the crowd took the roof off at this!!

Brothers of Destruction – YES!

😉

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7 April 2013: WrestleMania 29 digitals – Undertaker

From WWE.com:

The Undertaker def. CM Punk BY Ryan Murphy

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — CM Punk came to WrestleMania to prove to the world that The Undertaker was not a Demon from Death Valley, that his mythical urn was nothing but a tin jar full of a dirt, that The Deadman’s storied Streak was just another record waiting to be broken.

On The Grandest Stage of Them All, Punk faced the same reality as 20 other Superstars before him — the legend of The Phenom is not just “hocus pocus.”

In what was perhaps the most personal of The Deadman’s 21 WrestleMania matches, Undertaker successfully defended his flawless Show of Shows record against a Superstar flagrant enough to publically desecrate the memory of Undertaker’s close friend and former manager, Paul Bearer. Last seen pouring the contents of Bearer’s hallowed urn on top of The Phenom’s fallen body, Punk was black-hearted in his pursuit to get inside The Deadman’s head, but he did not consider what it would be like to deal with the devils that dwell inside.

Entering Met Life Stadium to the bombast of a live Living Colour performance of his “Cult of Personality” theme, Punk walked fearlessly onto a battlefield where icons like Shawn Michaels, Triple H and Ric Flair had fallen before him. Was it confidence? Arrogance? It may have been both, but the wicked iconoclast from unforgiving Chicago streets did not lose his will when The Deadman approached him through bolts of lightning and plumes of fire in an entrance that has been intimidating challengers since the days when Hulk Hogan was WWE Champion.

WrestleMania is an event designed around spectacle, but once crew members have lugged the drum riser from the stage and the smoke machines have been turned off, what’s left are two gladiators with raw nerves, heavy hands and a willingness to do what is necessary to put the other man down. From the opening bell, this match was a fight — the ugly kind usually witnessed in parking lots of seedy bars on bad nights and not in front of more than 80,000 people.

The Phenom has never believed in remorse. He’s put innocent men in body bags for no other reason than to prove a point. What he would do to the person who desecrated the memory of his close friend, Bearer, was a question some WWE fans were afraid to hear the answer to. It took seconds for The Deadman to drive his fist into Punk’s face, minutes before The Straight Edge Superstar was introduced to the people in the first row.

Punk, to his credit, would not play victim. Underneath a blackened New Jersey sky, the former WWE Champion mocked The Deadman the entire way, aping The Phenom’s patented Old School maneuver and barking insults about Bearer. In those perfect moments where Undertaker had Punk right where he wanted them, the slimy Paul Heyman would inevitably insert himself into the action. With Bearer’s urn in his slippery tentacles, Heyman appeared so slimy and vile that comparisons to Jabba the Hutt would seem like a compliment.

Oddly, The Straight Edge Superstar was his most dangerous when he played by the rules. Countering the best The Deadman threw at him on multiple occasions, Punk made it clear that he had been studying The Phenom’s playbook since he was in middle school. By the time the Chicago native splayed The Undertaker across a ringside table and blasted him with an elbow drop from the turnbuckle, it became apparent that The Streak was very much in danger.

Willed to the ring by what can only be described as supernatural force, The Deadman avoided a count-out loss by nanoseconds. From there, the one-upmanship between the two warriors was off the charts. When The Undertaker locked in Hell’s Gate, Punk countered with a creative pin attempt. When The Straight Edge Superstar connected with the Go to Sleep, The Phenom bounced back with a Tombstone. How Punk was able to kick out of that will be questioned for years to come.

The final moment nearly came when The Deadman went for the Last Ride and Punk responded by smashing him in the head with the urn. Crossing Undertaker’s arms upon his chest and sticking his tongue out at the WWE Universe, the unapologetic menace came closer than maybe anyone to pinning The Phenom on The Grandest Stage of Them All.

The Voice of the Voiceless had mocked The Undertaker’s fallen friend. He embarrassed him. He threw kicks at his knees and dangerous elbows to his head. He laughed at more than two decades of The Deadman’s legacy, thumbed his nose at the things that meant the most to The Phenom. But this match still ended the way these matches always end — with a devastating Tombstone from The Undertaker.

The Straight Edge Superstar is a man who puts weight in numbers. As the longest-reigning WWE Champion of the modern era, Punk recited the digits of his 434-days title reign like a personal mantra. It was a numerical accomplishment that mathematically proved that he was better than the rest. In WWE, though, the only numbers that matter are 21-0.

At WrestleMania, CM Punk entered as a dangerous skeptic with the hubris necessary to break sports-entertainment’s most vital Streak. He left as a victim, another soul claimed and, most importantly, a believer.

Undertaker 7 April 2013 – The Undertake vs. CM Punk: Photos

And yes, I was wearing one ‘Taker rosary, and holding the other – that’s my WrestleMania tradition. (The story of the ‘Taker rosaries is mysteriously missing from the comm archives, possibly because the person who posted about them – and made them! – deleted her LJ account. She made beautiful jewelry and come up with these – one is black and purple Swarovski crystals, the other is dark grey and deep blue Swarovski pearls. And yes, I wear them every year at ‘Mania, and to work for the week following!)

“CM Punk comes to WrestleMania to prove that The Undertaker’s mythical urn is nothing but a tin jar full of dirt, that The Deadman’s storied Streak is just another record waiting to be broken.”

It was cool, but weird, that they had Living Color play Punk out live. Mostly because it would limit what they could do for ‘Taker’s entrance. But I do really love Cult of Personality, and the bad was cool!

“Undertaker meets Punk in possibly the most personal of all his WrestleMania matches, as The Second City Saint publically desecrated the memory of Undertaker’s close friend and former manager, Paul Bearer.”

The gong at WrestleMania always takes my breath away.

‘Taker’s entrance through the sea of reaching hands (lost souls, perhaps? the dead?) was eerie, and just . . . perfect.

“There is perhaps no entrance as spectacular and haunting in WWE history as that of The Deadman.

Amen.

‘Taker has a new coat – shares his baby brother’s penchant for new costuming for ‘Mania, perhaps? 😉

I like this one – it harkens back to the Ministry days more strongly. And it feels like an homage to Paul Bearer too.

This man literally holds 80,000 people in the palm of his hand during his walk to the ring.

And he set off top of stadium pyros that must have had Kane green with envy! 😉

This is WrestleMania.

“Can CM Punk succeed where icons like Shawn Michaels, Triple H and Ric Flair had fallen before him?”

Hmpf. As if.

He’s back to the faux-hawk, but damn him, he pulls it off. And he looks good!

“As many expected, a brutal and personal match unfolds between the Superstars.”

Starting with Punk slapping ‘Taker’s face – and ‘Taker exploded!

This is when I notice the changed details on his tights. He’s got his ‘T” symbol on his right leg, in bronze, rather than white or black. And something different on his left leg.

These two just went at it – well, mostly, it was ‘Taker opening a can of whoop-ass on Punk!

“The action spills to ringside and it appears that The Streak might well be in serious jeopardy.”

Pfft! For all the talk about disqualification, there wasn’t a single instance of counting while ‘Taker was tossing Punk around outside the ring.

But yes, finally ‘Taker did get around to tossing Punk back in the ring, and he’s setting him up for this leg drop. And Mike Chioda finally starts to get around to reminded ‘Taker about the rules.

“Come on, ‘Taker. ‘Taker, I’m warning you, I’ll disqualify you!”

All the while, ‘Taker’s just getting Punk in position, giving him an elbow to the skull and such, but then he looks up and gives Mike a glare and Mike wisely backs off!

And then yes, leg drop! Glee!

Little bit later, ‘Taker’s got Punk in the corner, just whalin’ on him, and Mike tries to give him the five count – ‘Taker turns to Mike and takes a step, and Mike almost falls over himself backing away!

Those who thought ‘Taker wasn’t gonna be fit? Bullshit! He looked great, including taking a dive off the top rope rather than getting to go Old School.

“Punk mocks The Phenom’s patented Old School maneuver.”

And got atomic heat for it!

Punk also drew first blood, near ‘Taker’s hairline.

Now, the digitals are once again sparse, so it’s recap time!

‘Taker might have sold some spots where he was hurting, but when he hung himself up on the ropes, he was pretty damned athletic!

Heyman outside the ring was brilliant! Channelling Paul Bearer, but rather lovingly, I thought.

Punk tried to go Old School a second time, and crotched himself instead. ‘Taker looked at him for a long moment, then hauled off and slugged him, sending him off the top rope to the floor.

And then ‘Taker frightened the shit out of me – he looks over at Punk, then across the ring, and then he’s running the ropes, setting up for a suicide dive and I did, I screamed at my TV, ” ‘Taker, no!”

Paul Heyman fortunately interposed himself and prevented the suicide dive (which seriously, scares me witless since that time ‘Taker did it and knocked himself loopy cos the stupid cameraman wasn’t in the right spot). ‘Taker was about to chokeslam Paul to the floor when Punk catches ‘Taker from the top rope, and then drops a Macho Man elbow, but ‘Taker kicks out of the pin.

Punk goes for the Go To Sleep, ‘Taker counters with this chokeslam, and Punk kicks out. First of a series of chokeslams that have to have rattled Punk’s brain but good!

Punk then unwisely gets into a slugfest with ‘Taker, and then gets body splashed in the corner.

‘Taker hits Snake Eyes, but Punk deflects the big boot with a dropkick.

“The Chicago native splays The Undertaker across a ringside table and blasts him with a searing elbow drop from the turnbuckle.”

‘Taker was the first to presage the demise of the Spanish announce table – ‘Taker went for a Last Ride on Punk, but Punk fought out and gets a kick in that sends ‘Taker sprawled out there like an advertisement for an all you can eat manflesh buffet!

Punk kinda screwed up the elbow drop – he caught the worst of it on his hip, ‘Taker slid off the announce table and it didn’t collapse. Oops?

This actually caused the first count out, with ‘Taker making it back into the ring just before 10.

Yep, ‘Taker got some seriously good shots in!

And this photo shows more of the design on ‘Taker’s left leg – which had me in tears once I realised what it was.

It’s the urn, surrounded by ‘Taker’s rosary, and it says “RIP PB”.

After making it back into the ring at 9 3/4, ‘Taker’s laid out, and Heyman’s at ringside, telling Punk, “Do anything you have to do!”

‘Taker goes for Hell’s Gate, Punk counters by pressing ‘Taker’s shoulders to the mat and he has to break it before getting a three count.

Punk then gets the Anaconda Vice locked in, gets ‘Taker’s shoulders down for a two count, and ‘Taker sits up with this look in his eyes:

You know, that look that says someone is gonna get hurt real bad!

‘Taker goes for a chokeslam, Punk counters into a GTS, ‘Takr staggers back into the ropes and then comes off them and grabs Punk for a Tombstone Piledriver . . . and Punk kicks out!

‘Taker’s now bleeding from his forehead – but obviously New Jersey don’t care nothing about blood! 😉

Then it’s another slugfest and ‘Taker’s got his second wind.

Chioda’s down, ‘Taker’s back on the ropes and Punk hits him with a high knee. ‘Taker grabs him for a Last Ride, and suddenly Heyman’s there, up on the apron, giving Punk the urn. Punk clocks ‘Taker with it.

‘Taker’s out, Punk grabs Chioda to make the count while he does ‘Taker’s usual Tombstone pose . . . and ‘Taker kicks out!

“Punk continues to mock Undertaker and his legacy, but like so many that came before him, finds himself on the painful end of a devastating, punctuating Tombstone Piledrive.”

(Tombstone Piledrivers are the grammar nazis of finishing moves – little know fact. -facepalm-)

What actually happened was Punk did this very disrespectful thing, that got Shawn Michaels retired, and went for the GTS.

‘Taker fought out, so Punk went for it again.

‘Taker fought out, and then pulled Punk up in reverse (serious strength required!) for the Tombstone Piledriver!

And it was over.

21-0.

‘Taker pulled up real well after the match, moving well. He gets down out of the ring, and Heyman’s left the urn sitting on the steel steps. And ‘Taker just reaches out and puts his hand on it.

“21-0. The Undertaker’s iconic Streak is intact.”

During the match recap, ‘Taker gets back in the ring, and when we come back, the urn is there, and ‘Taker is at the ropes opposite it, his back to it.

He turns, and there’s a close up of his face, and I swear, he’s near to tears. It has to be finally for Paul – letting go of that emotion honestly instead of having to “act” if for a storyline.

He gives the urn this iconic pose, that will forever be remembered with Paul Bearer, as the pyro hits.

He then strips down his singlet before picking up the urn and leaving the ring with it, carrying it out with him in a final act of respect.

Part of me hoped that Kane might come out at the top of the ramp.

But instead, ‘Taker looked at the urn, then back at the ring over his shoulder, and raised his arm in salute.

And I was in tears.

Vale, Paul Bearer – William Moody. You are well loved, and well remembered.

No match video of course, but there is this from WWE.com: WWE Official Mike Chioda talks about his experience refereeing the match

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1 April 2013: RAW digitals – Undertaker

From WWE.com:

CM Punk attacked The Undertaker

The Undertaker struck first as his cerebral, deeply personal rivalry with CM Punk comes to its apex, but The Deadman arrived at Raw on Monday not to throw hands but to deliver Punk his eulogy. With a heavy heart and boiling blood, The Lord of Darkness simply vowed that a defeat would not suffice for the man who took possession of the late Paul Bearer’s sacred urn. Whether The Streak lives or dies at The Show or Shows, The Phenom promised, “[Punk] will not live to talk about it.”

As The Undertaker’s sermon concluded, though, a cadre of druids emerged from the entrance ramp while Paul Heyman held the urn aloft in a grotesque masquerade of The Father of Darkness’ famous entrance. When The Phenom moved to strike, a lone druid lashed out at him, revealing to be Punk in disguise.

“It’s over,” Punk said as he struck The Demon of Death Valley with the urn and upended its contents onto him, as sure a sign as any that it may be Undertaker who is interred within his own hallowed ground.

(Okay, they’re just lucky ‘Mania is this weekend, because swear to God, they have just pushed the fucking envelope too far. How far?

How about Bill Moody’s sons saying publically that what was described to them, that what they agreed to, and what they actually saw were not the same? And WWE then breaking land speed records the next day to get them to retract that original statement and soften it into something more like, oh, it looked a bit different but sure, we’re okay with it.

Seriously, I don’t know how any member of the McMahon family can live with themselves over this bullshit. And they can trot out guys til the end of time who say it’s “what Percy would have wanted” but for fuck’s sake, how about his family? Who are still deep in the grief that comes with losing someone suddenly? Is it what they want?

Maybe I’m not entirely unbiased about this, having lost my mother only seven months ago. I know about grief. About how it comes crashing in around you at the smallest things. How it just tears you to pieces inside, knowing that the person you’ve lost is truly gone and is never coming back.

And yet the WWE see fit to have Heyman dress up like Paul Bearer. Because why not? They “own” the character. Fuck what the family think or feel.

But how about what the Undertaker feels? Or Kane? These guys thought of Paul as family too – how must it make them feel?

This is why the storyline sickens me. And because I can honestly see those morons in Creative all but rubbing their hands together in glee when Bill Moody died, because suddenly they had a lazy way of building a feud in four weeks. No thinking required.)

Undertaker 1 April 2013 – Disguised as a Druid, CM Punk attacks The Undertaker: Photos

“The Undertaker appears on RAW, ready to unleash a verbal assault against his WrestleMania 29 opponent, CM Punk.”

” “CM Punk, your historic title reign lasted well over 400 days, but the pain waiting for you at WrestleMania is going to last an eternity.” The Deadman warns.”

Damn but he’s looking good!

” “The Streak may end on Sunday, but you will never live to talk about it,” he says.”

Whoa, waitasecond. The Streak is not going to end. Especially not at the hands of that prick Punk!

“Fire-bearing druids appear after Undertaker is finished speaking.”

Yeah, buttons being pushed . . .

“Paul Heyman, dressed as Paul Bearer, shocks The Undertaker.”

Ya fuckin’ think?

This is not a man who is shocked. This is a man who is pissed.

Also a man in great shape.

“The Phenom walks up the ramp and begins to attack the druids.”

Hey, you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

“CM Punk emerges as one of them!”

Like Blind Freddy couldn’t see that coming.

Not exactly thrilled with ‘Taker having to take bumps on the ramp rather than the slightly more forgiving ring though.

Well, whaddya know? Shoulderporn!

“After taking the urn from Heyman, the former WWE Champion assaults his WrestleMania 29 opponent with it.”

Still irritated as fuck about the storyline but holy hells, shoulderporn!

But this? This is where they crossed the line.

“Punk boldly empties the contents of the urn on The Undertaker.”

“Has Punk gotten so deep inside The Undertaker’s head that he could end his Streak at WrestleMania?”

Has WWE gotten so far out of touch with reality and decency that they fail to see how this could be offensive and upsetting to a grieving family? Or fans?

Cheap fuckin’ heat, that’s all this is. And if Punk had a spine, or gave a damn, he’d have told them he wouldn’t do it and come up with something that wasn’t so fuckin’ lazy.

And if you think I’m wrong about this?

The caption might read “Heyman looks on while Punk stands over his WrestleMania opponent” but it may as well say “Paul Heyman is sickened by what’s just happened, and regrets agreeing to it”.

WWE.com has video here – not sure how long it goes, but trust me, shut it down the minute the druids appear. Because after that, it’s just ugly.

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25 March 2013: RAW digitals – Undertaker

(Sorry, folks, running wicked behind with these posts! Plus still pretty much disgusted with the Punk/’Taker storyline . . . )

From WWE.com:

CM Punk taunted The Undertaker

PHILADELPHIA — As WrestleMania 29 nears, it is apparent that CM Punk will not honor the classic adage and give the devil his due. The Straight Edge Superstar strolled into The City of Brotherly Love with Paul Bearer’s urn still in his possession and wasted no time in foretelling the downfall of The Undertaker.

Punk’s pre-emptive requiem for The Phenom might have been a bit too soon, because the arena lights cut out and The Lord of Darkness himself appeared in the ring, dropping Punk with minimal fanfare and no small amount of relish. The Undertaker’s attack knocked the urn loose, but his efforts to reclaim the talisman fell short when Paul Heyman snatched up the urn and fled to the locker room area with Punk on his heels. Still, in what may be the most personal contest in The Undertaker’s WrestleMania career, consider the first punch thrown.

Undertaker 25 March 2013 – The Undertaker confronts CM Punk: Photos

“Paul Heyman carries Paul Bearer’s urn to the ring with CM Punk.”

“The former WWE Champion says it’s his opinions alone that matter.”

“He says a man who happens to be “The Best in the World” will rewrite The Undertaker’s story and break The Streak.”

” “This means everything to The Undertaker and it doesn’t mean a damn thing to me!” he says, tossing the urn. “Just like The Undertaker’s Streak.” ”

(You know, that bit about it not meaning a damn thing to Punk is about the only true note sounded in this whole bullshit storyline. Because Punk is coming off as a self-centred prick who doesn’t really give a shit about anything.)

“The Phenom appears in the ring, unleashing an assault against his WrestleMania 29 opponent.”

And holy hells, did he whomp the shit out of Punk or what? 😀

And he’s looking in pretty damn good shape! But those gym pics that one of the gals kindly shared already told us that!

Pats agreed that our favourite moment in this was when ‘Taker hauled Punk up by the hoodie so he could lay into him some more!

But I was also wickedly thrilled when Punk retreated holding one hand up to his ear … confirming my suspicions that ‘Taker was not pulling his punches and really clocked him a good one with a big haymaker! 😀

Stamp of approval on the buzzcut, by the way. Looks way better than the faux-hawk. This suits him! (Unlike Triple H, who absolutely cannot rock a buzzcut – he just looks lame. And like a copycat!)

“Punk and Heyman leave with the urn, boldly taunting The Undertaker from the stage.”

Uh huh. “Boldly”? My ass! Punk’s gonna learn a painful lesson about poking the bear that is The Undertaker.

WWE.com has video here – enjoy ‘Taker beating fifteen different kinds of holy hell out of Punk! And think about how much worse it’s going to be for Punk at ‘Mania!

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24 March 2013: Happy birthday Mark!

Well folks, it’s 24 March and that can mean only one thing around here – it’s time to celebrate Mark Callaway’s birthday with the traditional birthday picspam!!

Happy birthday Mark! 24 March 2013

Okay, so I’m going to start by telling you a little story.

Back in February this year, I got the wonderful chance to go and see Mick Foley doing his stand up comedy show.

What a hoot! Surrounded by people who love wrestling just as much as I do, laughing myself silly at Brendon Burns, who was Mick’s support act. I’ll even forgive Brendon for his unfortunate line, accompanied by a graphic on the screen behind him of ‘Taker giving someone a Tombstone, where he opined that ‘Taker had “had a lot of damn dick on his chin over the years”!

Then there was Mick. Now I’ve read – and laughed out loud at! – all of Mick’s books about his wrestling career. So I knew he’d be funny. I was amazed at how damn personable he is, even on stage.

And yes, he tells great stories, and sure, some of them were from his books (dear gods, the recreation of the scene where Mick and Stone Cold put cookies in DDP’s hotel bed to try to get rid of him, with Brendon in a towel and very bad blonde wig as DDP, because Mick limits himself to dropping two F-bombs per show, and just one line from “DDP” about “Who put these fucking cookies in my fucking bed?” was gonna screw that up completely! So Brendon was pinch-hitting with the “fucking”! -giggles helplessly-)

At the start of the show, Mick was kinda laying down some ground rules. He said he’d be happy to take questions sometimes, but he pleaded with us not to ask the question that he has heard probably a million times: “Did it hurt when the Undertaker threw you off the cell?”

But, because let’s face it, that match is kinda seminal to Mick’s career, he did talk about it. And about the ‘Taker and what it was like, working with him.

What I was looking for, rather than this picture, is the moment just after this – ‘Taker has jumped down from the top of the cell (and gives probably the only indication in the entire match that he was working with a broken foot, by landing with the tiniest hop on the bad foot), and bends down over Mankind, who is laying in a crumpled heap on the floor. For the second time in the match. He’s been checked over by officials, Terry Funk has come to the ring and been chokeslammed out of his sneaker by ‘Taker to buy Mick some time to come around.

So, Mick has set this scene for us. And I’m on the edge of my seat, because even though I’ve read this in his book, he’s making the story brand new by telling it this way.

So, he says, the Undertaker finally comes over to him, once all the officials and all have moved out of the cell and the match is once again underway. And the ‘Taker leans down over him and says . . .

“Hey there fella! Say, did that hurt?”

I swear, I almost hurt myself, I was laughing so hard!

Mick got us all good with that one!

He did then go on to tell us the real truth, while doing a pretty damn fair ‘Taker impression, with a deep drawling, “Go home” – as in, “Let’s finish this now, Mick – you’re done”. And then he gave us an insight into the mind of a professional wrestler, with what he thought about that.

I won’t tell you what he said, because I don’t want to “spoil” the show for you, if you get the chance to go see it and Mick tells that story. I will say that it gave me goosebumps and an ever bigger sense of respect for Mick, and for ‘Taker.

But yeah, totally had to start out this year’s birthday picspam with that story!

Now for another little story.

Most years, my preparation for a picspam involves Google and a shitload of saving and cross-referencing.

This year? Well I’ll be honest – this year, most of the pictures come from Facebook.

And normally, yes, I will do my damnedest to give credit where credit is due when I save a picture and present it for you guys.

I think it’s safe to say that no-one on Facebook gives a damn about that. It’s almost as big a den of thieves as Tumblr.

For example:

This pic, clearly watermarked from Cliff Compton’s website. Did they consider that sufficient acknowledgement, perhaps?

Or this one – the graphic from one of ‘Taker’s t-shirts. Obviously from WWEShop.com, but was that even mentioned? Nope!

So yeah, unless otherwise stated, these photos have been found on Facebook over the course of the last year. Rather than Google. Does it make me a thief? Perhaps. But if I’m thieving from thieves, who are thieving possibly by using Google image searches . . . we’re getting into a murky grey area, aren’t we?

Let’s just say that I’ll attribute these photos where possible, and I’m not intending to step on anyone’s creative toes or ownership.

I’m just presenting some photos of Mark that celebrate his life, his career, and his birthday!

Stepping back in time – no man should have hair that pretty! I’m just saying is all!

Man, do I love me some biker ‘Taker! Especially when it’s not in character!

I think that might be Sable, back in the day. But oh yeah, nice to have a guy around who can pick a woman up like she weighs nothing at all!

I’ve probably said this before. But this match? One of my all-time favourites!

Don’t know if this is actually from that match, but it’s the same timeframe. American Bad Ass ‘Taker – who we never see pictures of on WWE.com because apparently Vince hated that character. Tough titties, Vince – that’s why they invented the internet!

So we can share pictures of Bad Ass Biker ‘Taker! Yeah!

Dear Lord, that man in black leather – so fine!

Hey there, Big Evil! (Plus, it’s a hoodie – me and hoodies, we got a thing. They show up on ‘Taker or Kane and I go all to pieces!)

This is a screencap from I think the first Tribute to the Troops. I love these behind the scenes glimpses.

-chuckling- ‘Taker, looming head and shoulders above everyone else! Talk about a big target!

This one makes me laugh too! It’s quite probably from TV, but it amuses me to think of ‘Taker being so much bigger than his boss, who’s expounding on there about something important, while the big tattooed biker type looks bored!

(And hot. Let’s never forget hot!)

This one’s from Slam! Sports Canada – excellent sports website that includes wrestling! From SummerSlam 2004

A wallpaper from somewhere – I like this for the evocative feeling. Clever work by whoever made it – sorry I can’t credit you properly!

Another one, but oh baby, I can tell you where this came from! This is the infamous photoshoot for WWE Magazine that included “the chair”!!

If you’re new around here, and aren’t aware of the story of “the chair”, skip on over here to my journal and read. Don’t worry, we’ll all be here waiting til you get back! 😉

See? Now you know the story of the chair! And bonus! You got an extra shot from the same photoshoot!

I was flicking through the latest set of WWE digitals recently, of unseen ‘Taker photos, and was struck time and again by that man’s sheer physical beauty.

I was in fact tempted to just do the birthday spam from there, but I kinda like having a little career retrospective happening on the man’s birthday.

So instead, I just decided to include some pictures I had found (on Facebook, yes) that captured that beauty. I suspect some of these may well have come from WWE.com originally.

His grave intensity. Gets me every time.

I got a feeling that I may have shared this one before. But it’s especially for Pats – she’ll know why! 😉

(Hell, maybe she’s even shared it with me! We do that a lot!)

WrestleMania 23. ‘Taker wins the World Heavyweight Championship from Batista. Have you read Dave Batista’s biography? (I’m not going to call it an autobiography – just cos it’s written in first person does not mean Dave wrote it. He told the story to someone – that would be the “with Jeremy Roberts” part of the title.)

Quoting from Batista Unleashed (pp284-285):

A lot of times big guy-big guy things sound good on paper – you think it’s going to be clash of the titans, but I don’t know, they just don’t come off. They just don’t gel. But even though ‘Taker is taller and heavier than I am, he works like a hundred and fifty pounder, and I think that was one of the keys to this match. He was just amazing. In fact, I learned a lot from him just by working with him. I felt kind of like a sponge, absorbing his lessons.

At one point in the match he hit me with a shoot right hook that got me right on the jaw. “Shoot” as in real, as in son of a bitch, that mother hurt.

He got me right on the fuckin’ button. You can tell if you watch it carefully. I fell back against the ropes, kind of dazed. He knocked me silly. I was dizzy, and it took me a couple of seconds to clear my head.

I thought it was just a potatoey slip, no big deal, but when I cam back to throw the next big punch he said, “That was a receipt. You broke my eardrum.”

I said, “Oh fuck, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, come on, man. Come on,” he told me, and we carried on from there.

I still don’t know where it happened. I didn’t ask, either – it’s one of those things you don’t want to keep bringing up.

I don’t know where ‘Taker is in his career. From what I’ve heard, he may be winding it down, and if so this was his last big title run. To me, that’s got main event written all over it. I though we should have ended that show with Undertaker holding the championship belt in the air.

But I think we stole the show anyway.

(Ah no, Dave – ‘Taker stole the show. And it wasn’t his last title run, and he’s really only wound it down in the last four years. Which is longer than you stuck around, you egotist.)

So yeah – first time ‘Taker had won the World Heavyweight Championship, and he did it at WrestleMania. With a punctured eardrum.

And looking utterly ripped!

Can’t tell you where this one is from, but possibly WWE.com – they always go to black and white when someone’s wearing the crimson mask, and ‘Taker sure is in this one. But it gets to me more because of the way they’ve captured him laying there – the obvious vulnerability of that is quite emotional.

The eyes. The hair. The shoulders. The expression.

So goddamned beautiful.

Nabbed this one from Flickr a while back, from a user named linxreloaded. I swear, his eyes are absolutely spellbinding!

This one I make no apologies for. It’s the lips. Oh, and the expression. And the beard. But mostly the lips! 😉

Some more recent ones now – he’s older, and a bit more careworn. But those eyes still have it!

Still hate that coat that – that thing’s an offence against good leather!

Obviously another WWE.com one, because no fan’s standing at gorilla to get this shot!

The neck, the chest, the beard – this man is just put together all kinds of beautifully!

The aftermath of last year’s ‘Mania match – man, still tear up thinking about that.

Some non-character ones now – Mark with Mike Tyson. I think this was at ‘Mania, but it might have been at Raw 1000.

This one, I snagged ages ago, from someplace I’ve forgotten. I love it for that sleepy expression on his face. The one that says he has “miles to go before he sleeps”.

I like that t-shirt. It matches his eyes. But somewhere, another photo of him surfaced wearing the fedora, and there was a comment that cracked me up about it being his “Heisenberg hat”. Because you know, he’s gonna be the one who knocks! (Alex will understand why that amuses me!)

Another casual, obviously snapped by a fan – I like those rare shots that show he’s just a guy (a big, tall, incredibly well built guy!) who can relax and chill out.

And you know, I couldn’t let this picspam go without including some pictures of the late great Paul Bearer.

The early days

Another one from Flickr – from user mariabonita II, who has a lot of ‘Taker pictures. Backstage, in the early days.

“BSK back in the day” – Rikishi posted this one on Twitter in April last year.

And finally, one from 2010. Rest in Peace, Paul Bearer – and thank you for giving us the Undertaker and Kane.

As usual, everyone here at wishes Mark a happy birthday, and a great year. And another victory at WrestleMania might be a good way to celebrate, huh? 😉

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18 March 2013: RAW digitals – Undertaker

From WWE.com:

The Undertaker demanded CM Punk return Paul Bearer’s urn to him

There was little preamble when The Undertaker arrived in the Steel City to address CM Punk’s heinous theft of the late Paul Bearer’s urn, simply an ultimatum: Return the talisman to The Phenom, and Punk’s soul would be spared, even if his in-ring fate is sealed already for WrestleMania (“I’m gonna hurt you, and I’m gonna hurt you bad”).

Punk, of course, had other ideas, appearing on the TitanTron from a remote location with the urn in hand, mocking The Father of Destruction’s voice and warning The Deadman that he’d been consulting with the late Bearer on how to defeat him at WrestleMania. “I don’t have powers,” Punk said as he further desecrated the urn by tossing it around like a basketball, “accidentally” dropping it at one point while The Phenom fumed in the ring. “I am the higher power,” Punk added. “I am the one in 21.”

(I’m sorry, but I don’t care how many ways WWE says that Bill Moody’s family is okay with this – it’s leaving an incredibly nasty taste in my mouth. They could have gone down this path for ‘Taker and Punk without resorting to this cheapshot promo shit – ‘Taker’s brilliant enough to have carried it off, and Punk isn’t terrible on the mic. An indication of how rank I find this whole thing? It’s Saturday here, and RAW screens on Wednesday afternoon. I’ve yet to see it, beyond the recap that was on SmackDown. Thanks WWE – thanks for taking away one of the only two reasons I still had to watch your shitty programming.)

Undertaker 18 March 2013 – The Undertaker condemns CM Punk’s actions: Photos

I can’t even be excited to see The Deadman on my screen – how sad is that?

And BTW, WWE – couldn’t you have got someone to take that damn coat out of mothballs and hung it up for a few weeks to let the creases fall out of it?

Jesus wept.

“Your fate is sealed,” The Undertaker told CM Punk.

Man, I so want to believe that!

“There’s no escaping what happens to you at WrestleMania,” The Deadman said. “I’m going to hurt you and I’m going to hurt you bad.”

Now, seriously, who wouldn’t believe that ‘Taker would have said that just off the back of Punk disrespecting the moment at the top of RAW last week, huh? That would have been enough.

But no, WWE’s got to cater for the lowest common denominator in the 85% who are dumber than two bags of hammers, and go completely over the top with stealing the urn and then disrespecting that as well.

And while I’m on my soapbox, ranting – if Punk’s so damn banged up that he’s working a program on par with ‘Taker, who gets in the ring once a year after over twenty fuckin’ years of wrestling full tilt, then he ought to choose another career path.

Because if he hurts ‘Taker because he’s not fit to get in the ring come ‘Mania and botches something? I will be fucking livid.

He can’t even get in the ring and cut a face to face promo? Robbing both of them of the chance to really crank this thing up with barely three weeks to go?

“Punk, still in possession of Paul Bearer’s urn, took another opportunity to taunt The Phenom with Bearer’s urn.”

Yeah. Cos God forbid he should actually just go head to head with the man and argue the “best in the world” versus “The Streak”.

“Punk lets The Undertaker know that he’ll do whatever it takes to end The Streak.”

Yeah, right. What the fuck ever. Absolutely no interest in this match now, with all this shit.

Six months ago, I would have been all for it.

Man, they better get something happening next week that doesn’t involve ‘Taker having to stand around with his thumb up his ass while Punk phones in a performance.

Hell, because that world class attention whore Triple H is going mano-e-mano with Bork (and yeah, saw the recap of that on SmackDown and could the crowd have given any less of a shit about the stipulations, or Trips’ career being on the line?), we won’t even have the potentially interesting involvement of Paul Heyman in this match.

Fail, Creative.

WWE.com have the video here, if you can stomach it.

Normally, I’m all over Deadman audio porn, cos I think that big bastard’s magic on the mic, but I can’t even watch this.

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11 March 2013: RAW digitals – Undertaker and Kane

From WWE.com:

CM Punk interrupted The Undertaker’s memorial for Paul Bearer; Kane attacked Punk

INDIANAPOLIS — On this night in Indianapolis, The Undertaker came not to challenge, to mystify or to terrify, but rather to remember the life of the man who shepherded him into WWE 20 years ago: Paul Bearer. With Bearer’s famous urn placed atop a ceremonial pedestal, The Demon of Death Valley silently paid homage to his old friend falling to one knee before the urn while Bearer’s likeness appeared on the TitanTron.

Of course, no celebration is complete these days without CM Punk interrupting, and The Straight Edge Superstar brought the funerary proceedings to a screeching halt when he appeared onstage. The former WWE Champion wasted no time before launching into his latest tirade against The Phenom. “I would like to offer my sincere apologies for your loss … at WrestleMania,” Punk said, offering the silver lining that, to Bearer, The Phenom would “always be perfect,” a comfort the WWE Universe would no longer have once WrestleMania concluded. But while Punk basked in his own suspect glory, Kane barreled forth from the shadows and drove Punk into the locker room, rampaging through the backstage area in a lone manhunt for the Superstar who so grossly disrespected his father.

(Going on record now, even though I’ve yet to actually see RAW: I’m aware that there are reports that say Mr Moody’s sons were backstage, and that they and both ‘Taker and Kane “signed off” on this whole episode. But it still leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. And I’m well aware there’s a world of difference between signing off in the sense of “enthusiastically going along” and signing off because the boss is making it very clear that you better or else. This being the boss that actually freakin’ owns your name and likeness and can do what he bloody well wants with it, even after you’re dead. So using it as creative “fodder” leaves one hell of a bad taste in my mouth.

I’ve also seen the tweets from guys who knew Mr Moody well professionally, and personally, who say it’s what he would have wanted. But again, having recently been bereaved, and still going through what’s a painful grieving process, it doesn’t sit right with me that this is being used as what passes for entertainment these days in the WWE.

So the reports and photos will be presented without “colour” commentary. Because that’s my way of showing respect.

And because I can see no way – and have no desire – to separate Kane and ‘Taker’s appearances on the show, it goes without saying that this post will be extremely image-heavy.)

Undertaker 11 March 2013 – The Undertaker’s Tribute to Paul Bearer: Photos

“After a tribute video dedicated to the late Paul Bearer, The Undertaker kicks off Raw.”

“The Phenom pays his respects to his former mentor.”

“The Undertaker is shocked when CM Punk rudely interrupts.”

“Simmer down, simmer down,” Punk says, “I think you misunderstand me coming out here.”

“I want to extend my heartfelt apologies for your loss … at WrestleMania,” Punk says.

“Then, after Raw went to commercial break, Kane appeared on WWE Active!”

“Kane appears to defend his late father after Punk’s insults.”

WWE.com has video of ‘Taker tribute here. And for those of us who couldn’t be bothered downloading an app to see what happens during commercial breaks, they also have the video of Kane from WWE Active here. (Begging the question of what purpose the app really serves, but what the hell ever.)

From WWE.com:

Dolph Ziggler def. WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan

With Kane raging through the locker room in pursuit of CM Punk, Daniel Bryan was on his own for his one-on-one bout against Dolph Ziggler. And though the submission specialist acquitted himself formidably in a rare non–Team Hell No contest, he found himself sorely missing Kane’s company when AJ Lee and Big E Langston interfered to snatch victory from the “No!” man’s clutches and pilfer the bout for The Showoff.

No photos or video, just the mention.

There was also a backstage interview spot with Josh Matthews and Kane. This photo was posted on Facebook – again, can’t remember who posted it, sorry.

From WWE.com:

WWE Tag Team Champion Kane def. CM Punk

Hell hath no fury like The Devil’s Favorite Demon, as CM Punk learned to his great detriment following The Straight Edge Superstar’s insult to the memory of Kane’s father, Paul Bearer. Cradling Bearer’s precious urn in his hands, Kane seemed more solemn than usual at the bout’s beginning, but mourning gave way to unbridled rage when Punk hit the WWE Tag Team Champion with a cheap shot to start their No Disqualification Match.

The two Superstars took advantage of the bout’s stipulation, with Kane slamming Punk against the barricades and The Straight Edge Superstar retaliating by clobbering the demon with the ring bell. The ferocity only escalated when the action moved to the ring, and Kane’s aggression (helped by a steel chair) seemed to gain him the upper hand before Punk commandeered the chair and swung the momentum back his way. A little brotherly love goes a long way, though, and the thundering of The Undertaker’s gong distracted Punk long enough for Kane to strike with the Chokeslam, sending the former WWE Champion to hell in his father’s name.

The Phenom himself materialized after the pinfall had been counted, but as The Brothers of Destruction knelt in unison for one final tribute to The Father of Destruction, The Straight Edge Superstar seized Paul Bearer’s precious urn and struck Kane from behind. Punk battered The Big Red Monster into submission with the urn, fleeing from the ring when The Phenom made his way to retaliate. Once Punk was at a safe distance, the former WWE Champion placed the ill-gotten talisman to his lips and knelt atop the stage in a mockery of The Undertaker’s signature salute. While Punk preened atop the ramp, The Phenom stewed with rage between the ropes, his omnipotence and rage matched only by his powerlessness against the maiming of his brother and the desecration of the urn — as well as the man — he once held most precious.

Kane 11 March 2013 – Kane vs. CM Punk – No Disqualification: Photos

“After disrespecting Paul Bearer’s memory earlier on Raw, CM Punk was given a match against Kane.”

“Kane pays tribute to his late father, Paul Bearer.”

“The Big Red Monster shows no mercy against his opponent after his behavior earlier on Raw.”

“Kane uses a steel chair against Punk in the No Disqualification Match.”

“Punk falls victim to a vicious Chokeslam.”

“The Undertaker appears to pay homage to his mentor.”

(This screencap via Facebook, sorry, cannot recall which page posted it originally)

“Punk shockingly and disrespectfully attacks Kane with Paul Bearer’s urn.”

“The Undertaker comes to Kane’s side as Punk mocks his WrestleMania 29 opponent from the stage.”

WWE.com has video of the match and its aftermath here.

After Raw went off the air

These fan photos were posted on Facebook, but I don’t know their exact origin.

What I do know is that they show moments that make my heart ache and the tears fall . . .

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4 March 2013: RAW digitals – UNDERTAKER!

FINALLY!

From WWE.com:

The Undertaker returned; Vickie Guerrero declared a Fatal 4-Way to determine his opponent at WrestleMania

BUFFALO, N.Y. — The WWE Universe was promised an “Old School” Raw, and few things fit that bill more than the toll of The Undertaker’s gong. Raw had barely begun in Buffalo when The Deadman rose again, stalking through fire and flames and summoning a WrestleMania insignia on the TitanTron, apparently signaling his preparation to face an opponent on The Grandest Stage of Them All.

The Phenom’s apparent challenge brought out four potential foes: Randy Orton, Big Show, Sheamus and CM Punk, who deemed it destiny that he end The Deadman’s WrestleMania streak; a renewed “purpose” given him following the loss of his precious WWE Championship and the opportunity to main-event WrestleMania. With tensions mounting between the fearsome foursome, Managing Supervisor Vickie Guerrero restored order with an executive decision: Orton, Sheamus, Show and Punk would do battle in a Fatal 4-Way to determine who among them would tempt fate and tangle with The Undertaker at WrestleMania.

Undertaker 4 March 2013 – The Undertaker returns to RAW: Photos

“The Undertaker kicks off ‘Old School RAW’.”

And who more fitting, hmmmm?

Should have been last week, after he showed up at that house show, but in its usual fashion, WWE screwed it up.

But hey, not gonna complain with the Deadman FINALLY back on our screens!

We missed you, ‘Taker!

-sighs- Aw hell, how I’ve missed this man!

I see they’ve dragged the “designed by committee for an eight foot tall Undertaker” coat out of mothballs though. Love the man, hate the coat! 😉

“The Deadman shocks the WWE Universe by returning to RAW.”

Only if the WWE Universe has been living under a fucking rock or are dumber than a bag of hammers . . . oh wait, they are! Well 85% of them, anyway!

Jesus, the footage of him at the house show was all over the internet. Hell, even the WWE touted it! Although they then took back the bit where they admitted it was ‘Taker and were trying to be all mysterious and shit with, “Who is this?”

Plus, apparently WWE sent out a text to their subscribers the morning of RAW, saying, “I have risen.” Now, that was either meant to let everyone know Vinnie Mac was up and at ’em, or it was ‘Taker announcing obscene suggestion deleted . . . ahem, that he was back and ready for action, which means the same thing! (Hey, a dirty mind is an endless source of amusement, what can I tell you? 😉 )

Plus, hello? “Old School RAW”? Who else has been around since the first episode, huh? And not retired, or retired and then miraculously un-retired?

So yeah, big shock . . . not!

Still damn good to see him back – it means I actually have a reason to watch WrestleMania! 😉

(Not that Kane’s not a reason, but hey, you know, it’s ‘Taker!)

While I miss the teasers and such that usually precede ‘Taker, it’s kind of nice to cut through that bullshit with a solid, “Fuck it, I’m baaaaaaaaack!” appearance! 😉

“Will The Phenom return again at WrestleMania 29?”

Oh for fuck’s sake! Steph, fire whoever it is that you have writing the captions for these photos – and stop pandering to the dumbest common denominator!

For the last few years, the only bloody time we see ‘Taker is leading up to ‘Mania. (Oh, and at the 1000th ep of RAW, bailing out his little brother. Which was just

And you’ve got him pictured under the WrestleMania sign – which okay, isn’t hard, cos those bloody things are everywhere at this time of year. Great drinking game for RAW though – take a shot every time you see the sign on screen. Two shots when someone points at the sign. Utterly legless after 3 hours, guaranteed!

So, smart money says that’s the only reason ‘Taker has shown up. Even the dumbest of the dumb can figure that out!

Quit trying to be mysterious about it – you’re just making yourselves look stupid.

Besides. ‘Taker’s wearing his big spiky WrestleMania coat – dead giveaway! 😉

WrestleMania sign! Everybody drink a shot! 😉

“The WWE Universe in Buffalo, N.Y., cheers for The Undertaker.”

The WWE Universe in Dallas, TX, last week would have torn the fucking roof off for The Undertaker . . . especially those 6000 people who rushed to buy seats when it got out ‘Taker had been at a house show in Texas over the weekend.

I’m just sayin’ is all.

No beard? That’s gonna take some getting used to!

Aw, who the hell cares? It’s ‘Taker!!

WWE.com has the video here!

Again, from WWE.com:

CM Punk def. Randy Orton, Big Show and Sheamus to become The Undertaker’s WrestleMania opponent

Destiny, it appears, is not quite done with CM Punk. Following The Straight Edge Superstar’s fall from the mountaintop as WWE Champion, Punk now has a new dragon to slay in the form of The Deadman himself after conquering Randy Orton, Sheamus and Big Show on Raw to earn the right to challenge The Streak.

Getting it done was not necessarily as easy as Punk might have the WWE Universe think, though. With the honor of facing The Phenom at stake, the four former World Champions brought their A-game to a bout that was less a wrestling match than a four-car pileup. But Punk — who also crashed Mae Young’s 90th birthday party — proved himself the cleverest of the foursome, striking only after Sheamus, Big Show and Orton had each plied their signature maneuvers to each other, felling Orton with the Go to Sleep for the three-count to seal his long-awaited trip to The Show of Shows.

The night wasn’t over yet, though, as the gong tolled once more and The Phenom materialized before the former WWE Champion, staring into the eyes of the latest — and potentially greatest — challenger to his most enduring legacy.

Well duh. We all knew this was where it was headed. Except for the 85%, who don’t know jack shit and couldn’t be bothered to think for themselves.

Undertaker 4 March 2013 – Randy Orton v.s Sheamus vs. CM Punk v.s Big Show – Fatal 4-Way Match: Photos

And, after CM Punk capitalises on everyone else hitting their finishers and wins, ‘Taker’s back to stare him down.

“(CM Punk) will face The Undertaker and try to end his undefeated streak at WrestleMania 29!”

Doesn’t exactly look like ‘Taker’s bothered by that.

WWE.com has video here – at 2:10, the gong sounds as Punk is straight-edge celebrating his win. Seven seconds later, the lights go out, and no-one gives a fuck who won the match cos they all know ‘Taker is back!

They’re billing Punk as the “biggest threat” to The Streak but I’m not buying it. I’ll probably flip-flop over this for the next five weeks though!

All I do know is that it’s on for ‘Mania – and welcome back, ‘Taker!!

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WWE poll: Who is the greatest RAW Superstar?

So, there’s a poll on WWE.com to vote for the greatest RAW Superstar.

Now, given the WWE’s penchant for ret-conning history, and a known bias towards certain Superstars who ought to know that “retired” means “I never have to see your damn face on my TV again”, not “I know you’ll show up at the opening of an envelope, you attention whore” . . .

Whoops. Ranting there. Sorry.

Anywho, there’s this poll. At the moment, the Undertaker’s got himself a fine lead, so I’d urge you all to go vote for him, so WWE can’t do their usual sneaky “get all the staffers to vote so the outcome’s the one we want” bullshit. They haven’t got anywhere near enough staffers to make up nearly 20% of the votes, have they!!

I’d say vote for Kane, but our poor old Big Red Sex God only has 2% of the vote – and while improving that number would be a fine aim, making damn sure WWE can’t sweep this one under the rug and ensuring ‘Taker gets the gong is an even better one!! 😉

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WWE feature: Top 50 WWE Moments of 2012

Another list! They’re just list-makin’ fools over there on WWE.com!

This time, it’s the Top 50 WWE Moments of 2012 – but these ones aren’t numbered!

AJ Lee forms a love quadrangle with Bryan, Punk and Kane

After Daniel Bryan broke up with his girlfriend, AJ Lee, she underwent many changes. In addition to exhibiting a completely new, erratic attitude, AJ also turned her affections to the submission specialist’s chief rivals, WWE Champion CM Punk and The Big Red Monster, Kane. This soon evolved into a dangerous love triangle that quickly spun out of control — with the increasingly unpredictable Diva playing an intricate part in the WWE Title power struggle.

Every week, the WWE Universe would tune in to see what AJ would do next, whether she was dressing up as Kane, Punk or Bryan, slapping one — or all — of the Superstars, or kissing them before putting them through a table.

Eventually, just weeks after proposing to Punk, AJ accepted Bryan’s second marriage proposal. Before they were to tie the knot, however, AJ informed her fiance she had opted to take on a different Moniker instead of “Mrs. Daniel Bryan” — that of Raw General Manager.

Certainly a top moment for a couple of scorching kisses with Kane! And his assertion that he’s “not boyfriend material”. 😉

WWE Live Tour visits Abu Dhabi and Egypt

Having already visited far away lands like China and Doha, Qatar in previous years, the WWE World Tour made stops in Abu Dhabi and Egypt for the first time ever in 2012.

The visit to Egypt featured three shows from Thursday, Oct. 18, through Saturday, Oct. 20, at the Cairo Stadium Complex. Along the way, Superstars and Divas had the unique opportunity to visit some of Egypt’s historical monuments, including the great pyramids!

The visit to the land of The Egyptian tour came on the heels of a successful WWE Raw World Tour in Abu Dhabi in February. During a press conference atop the Burj Khalifa skyscraper in Dubai – the tallest manmade structure in the world – things turned chaotic when Kane attacked John Cena. (FULL STORY)

Oh yeah! Who can forget Kane and Cena in Abu Dhabi? Or more importantly, this pic, shared by of Glenn and Cena working out the mechanics beforehand? -drools-

Team Hell No commences a hellacious WWE Tag Team Championship reign

Along with WWE Champion CM Punk, Kane and Daniel Bryan spent months in a WWE Title struggle, made more intense by their love triangle, centered on the unstable AJ Lee.

When AJ became the General Manager of Raw, she ordered her ex-fiancé Bryan to attend anger management classes. And following a series of episodes — including attacks on WWE announcer Josh Mathews — Kane also ended up in the same class, run by one Dr. Shelby. Together, AJ and the good doctor eventually placed the two volatile Superstars into a tag team as a type of experimental therapy. The result was Team Hell No, a name picked by the WWE Universe as part of RAWactive.

As they teamed-up, Team Hell No continued to argue and constantly upstage each other at every turn, making them one of the most dysfunctional pairings in WWE history. In spite of this calamity, however, it just … somehow … worked — so much so that before long, they overcame R-Truth & Kofi Kingston to capture the WWE Tag Team Champions at the Night of Champions pay-per-view.

But success did not stop them from bickering. The only thing that did was the moments when they could channel their rage on the competition. Nowhere was this stronger than when they teamed with the ultra-intense Ryback against The Shield at WWE Tables, Ladders & Chairs.

While their relationship continued to rest of the shaky edge of dysfunction, no one could deny the dominance of the unlikely duo.

And it’s been bloody brilliant – mostly thanks to Kane and DBryan’s obvious chemistry.

Look who’s the poster boy for The World Heavyweight Championship turns 10!

Raw celebrates 1,000 episodes on July 23, 2012

When your flagship show hits 1,000 episodes, you don’t just let that milestone slip by. You do the thing big. And for the 1,000th episode of Raw, WWE pulled out all the stops to make the night as unforgettable as possible. D-Generation X —all of D-Generation X — reunited and put a beating on Damien Sandow. Mae Young and Mark Henry’s son got all grown up. The Doctor of Style himself, Slick, threw on his frock to officiate the (wildly unsuccessful) wedding of Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee. Lita and a cadre of legends put a hurtin’ on a beleaguered Heath Slater. The Rock laid down a challenge for the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble and was promptly put to bed by CM Punk’s Go to Sleep. And The Brothers of Destruction set aside their differences to lay waste to a pack of challengers. It truly had everything in it, and in it, everything.

And who better to be the poster boys for Raw 1000 than the current longest tenured active Superstar in Kane, and the longest tenured Superstar on the roster (though only working a light program) in the Undertaker?

Man, what a night!

The End of an Era: The Undertaker defeats Triple H inside Hell in a Cell at WrestleMania XXVIII

At WrestleMania, Triple H battled The Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell, a match which would be appropriately referred to as the “End of an Era.”

In an encounter last year between two WWE Legends, The King of Kings fell to The Phenom, but the showdown was so brutal The Demon of Death Valley could not exit the ring under his own power.

So it was destiny that they would meet one more time to see — once and for all — who was the greater legendary force. And as if the circumstances weren’t extraordinary enough, Shawn Michaels, the very Superstar who The Deadman retired on The Grandest Stage of Them All, would serve as the Special Guest Referee.

The epic contest that followed was absolutely incredible, with both Triple H and The Undertaker leaving everything they had in the squared circle. And while The Phenom did ultimately reign supreme, in the end, it was Triple H, Michaels and The Undertaker walking out together.

Totally amazing match. But man, does this make me miss the ‘Taker even more!

This one made the #1 spot, even if they weren’t actually numbering them. But why title it The End of an Era? Why not, Undertaker’s WrestleMania Streak goes to 20-0?

I suspect I know why . . . yeah, fuck dat.

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