He’s BAAAAAAACK!!
(courtesy SevenFootMonster22 on Facebook)
From WWE.com:
Miz calls out Bray Wyatt and Kane returns!
MIAMI – The Miz wasn’t cleared for a match at WWE Hell in a Cell, but he was ready for a fight with The Wyatt Family. Instead, what he and the WWE Universe got was one Hell of a surprise return from one of WWE’s most monstrous figures.
During Sunday night’s WWE Hell in a Cell Kickoff, Miz tracked down SmackDown General Manager Vickie Guerrero in an attempt to have a match made for later in the evening that would see The Awesome One battle Bray Wyatt. However, because of the attack Miz suffered at the hands of The Eater of Worlds and The Wyatt Family on SmackDown, he was not medically cleared to compete, and Vickie refused to make the match.
Determined in his quest for retribution, The Awesome One made his way into the AmericanAirlines Arena to call out Bray Wyatt. However, responding to the challenge from an undisclosed location, Bray Wyatt informed The Miz that it pained him to see his potential challenger “broken.” During Wyatt’s diatribe, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan attacked Miz from behind.
Facing another brutal beating , Miz received a shocking assist as fire erupted inside the arena and Kane made his return. The Big Red Monster sent Harper and Rowan fleeing from the ring as The Awesome One and the WWE Universe looked on in shock. However, the WWE Universe was doubly astonished when Kane turned toward The Most-Must See Superstar in WWE History and almost put him through the canvas with a devastating chokeslam.
Following his actions, Kane tweeted for only the second time ever:
Although Kane’s return was an unexpected surprise at WWE Hell in a Cell, a bevy of questions remain with no insight provided by his tweet. Where has The Big Red Monster been since being carried off by The Wyatt Family at SummerSlam? And why did he direct his fiery fury from those who brutally wronged him at The Biggest Party of the Summer to a Superstar who of late has shared a fate similar to his own? The Miz and the WWE Universe deserve some answers…though asking Kane the questions will undoubtedly prove to be Hell.
Second ever Kane tweet … and I missed it! Had to go look on my Tweetdeck and there it was:
#As #You #Can #See, @KaneWWE #Has #Mastered #The #ArtOfHashtagging! 😉 (Right down to capitalising each word, to make it easier to read – who doesn’t love a smart monster?)
Kane 27 October 2013 – Kane returns and attacks The Wyatt Family: Photos
So, to set the scene here (and because frankly, I’ve got no clue what’s been going on with WWE programming because unless there’s a chance of Kane, I don’t even bother watching), apparently The Miz was feuding with Bray Wyatt … until Wyatt fell over and injured himself. Again.
And Big Show’s on a tear again, and knocking people out with his Weapon of Mass Destruction (can we not just turn Show face again, please? This whole “broke and fired” scenario’s been played to death), and he knocked Miz out a week ago. Or a month ago. Who the hell knows?
Anyway. Miz wanted a match with Wyatt – unlikely, considered Bray can’t even walk right now. But god forbid we admit that, so we’re going with the line that Miz isn’t medically cleared to wrestle.
Which apparently equates to being cleared to have the shit kicked out of him and be chokeslammed, but whatevs. 😉
It’s all an excuse for Miz to do what he does best – get on the mic and talk smack. Wyatt also gets to do what he does best – deliver a promo from a rocking chair. Via Titan-tron. Whatevs. 😉
Wyatt’s goons (goon 1 and goon 2, because I still can’t get their names straight, and WWE doesn’t seem like they want us to know them individually, because they always lump them together) hit the ring and commence the assault that Miz was apparently cleared for, even though he wasn’t cleared to wrestle.
With me so far?
“A sudden blinding flash halts the arena.”
Red lights! Fire! You know what that means!!
“Kane returns to confront Harper and Rowan!”
Oh. My.
What say we pass the hat around and take up a collection to buy the Soska Sisters a whole bunch of whatever they love the best? Because hot DAMN! They surely took excellent care of our Monster on the See No Evil 2 set!
That is one lean, mean sex Red Machine! -fans self-
And yay! We’re back to the weave … errr, Kane still has his long hair! 😉 (Which I take to mean he’s busily growing back his hair after shaving it off for the movie – excellent news for those of us who are fans of the hair! And yes, that would be me!)
Lord have mercy … right into it with rippling back and shoulder muscles!! And forearm, because you all know I love me some Kane forearm!
It’s not shown in the digitals, but thanks to a certain wonderful someone (SevenFootMonster22 on Facebook), I caught a peek of the video of this segment.
First Kane levelled goon 1 with a big boot outside the ring, before giving goon 2 that shoulder to the gut through the ropes.
Once Kane was in the ring, he went for what looked like it should have been a Tombstone Piledriver … and goon 2 flubbed it. Didn’t get himself into the right position and made it impossible for Kane to get him up for the move.
The comments on SevenFootMonster22’s Facebook page were all about that, but I think the mods there are right – I suspect this segment got barely any thought and little or no prep. And while Miz and Kane are experienced enough to be able to just go with it and make it happen, goon 1 and goon 2 are too green yet to cope in that situation.
So, like the professional he is, Kane just moved on and turfed goon 2 over the top rope instead. (And goon 2 couldn’t even manage that terribly gracefully -sigh-)
“The Big Red Monster takes out Harper and Rowan.”
HolyMaryMotherOfGod, look how lean Kane is! Wow!
Best ass in the company and damn, look at those legs!
And while you’re looking at the legs, note this – not wearing the brace on the left knee! Now, that may be because this was a segment barely two minutes long, but maybe it also means the knee’s feeling stronger after the breaks he’s had this year.
Me? I’m just going to be over here, quietly admiring the line of that lean thigh under his tights for a bit …
😉
Best of both worlds! We get to admire the back muscles, while simultaneously getting a close up shot of his chest on the Titan-tron – bonus!
“Rowan and Harper watch on as Kane suddenly turns his attention toward The Miz …”
” … and The Big Red Monster levels The Awesome One!”
-wiping the drool off my chin-
Dominant Big Red Monster – where do I get me some of that?
Those who think this means Kane has now joined The Wyatt Family? Think again! This means that The Monster is back on his own terms – which means woe betide anyone who gets in his way!
Still blown away by how good he looks!
That’s what we’ve missed! Yay for having Kane back!
Oh and for all those “experts” out there who say Kane made his debut at Hell in a Cell? Wrong – Kane made his debut during a Hell in a Cell match. The very first Hell in a Cell match, between the Undertaker and Mankind. The Pay Per View was Badd Blood, and the year was 1997. You’re welcome.
😉
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The Brothers of Destruction 