28 October 2012: PPV digitals – Kane

From WWE.com:

Team Rhodes Scholars def. Team Hell No by Disqualification BY James Wortman

ATLANTA — Team Rhodes Scholars might consider themselves “the most intellectually compatible tag team in WWE,” but that cohesiveness did not translate to championship glory for Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow at WWE Hell in a Cell. There, live in front of a raucous crowd packed inside Atlanta’s Philips Arena, Team Hell No retained the WWE Tag Team Titles when the rampaging Kane got himself disqualified.

In the early goings of this contest, it seemed as though Kane & Daniel Bryan might be able to co-exist, with frequent tags keeping the smug sophisticates on their toes. After Kane clocked Rhodes with his patented top rope flying clothesline, however, the anxious Bryan tagged himself in and further punished Rhodes with a flying headbutt. Bryan’s pinfall attempt did not sit well with The Big Red Monster, who bizarrely broke up the three-count that would have won the match for his team.

The dysfunction between the WWE Tag Team Champions continued at ringside, where The Devil’s Favorite Demon and “The World’s Toughest Vegan” continued to get in the way of each other’s offense. A heated argument between Kane and Bryan seemed to signal a Team Rhodes Scholars championship victory, especially when Rhodes nailed Bryan with a vicious Cross Rhodes and went for the cover. No doubt sensing the WWE Tag Team Titles slipping away, Kane saved his partner from defeat and brutalized both Sandow and Rhodes in the corner of the ring. Since The Big Red Monster was not the legal man and completely ignored the referee’s five-count to leave the ring, the official called for the bell and disqualified WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No.

The road to WWE Hell in a Cell was a strange one for the WWE Tag Team Champions, a pair of unhinged Superstars who shouldn’t be able to inhabit the same building let alone the same corner of the ring. Joined together as a tag team in September as part of their anger management therapy, Kane & Bryan ultimately proved to be an effective tag team. Neither of them was willing to admit it, though. That surprising teamwork netted the peculiar duo a WWE Tag Team Championship opportunity against reigning titleholders Kofi Kingston & R-Truth at Night of Champions. Defying the odds and their own tangled history, Daniel Bryan & Kane attained championship glory that night. Which team member deserved to be called “the Tag Team Champions,” however, remained a sensitive point of contention.

Mere moments after the WWE Universe on Twitter named the unhinged WWE Tag Team Champions “Team Hell No” in a RAWactive poll on the Sept. 24 edition of Raw, the new team of Rhodes & Sandow made their goal of tag team supremacy abundantly clear, assaulting Kane & Bryan and revealing their own tag team moniker: Team Rhodes Scholars. Eager to use their combined brainpower to prey on the well-documented instability of the reigning champions, Rhodes & Sandow outlasted seven other teams in a tournament to earn the privilege of challenging the combustible titleholders at WWE Hell in a Cell. Although their initial effort proved fruitless, it’s unlikely that the refined palates of Team Rhodes Scholars will ever lose their taste for championship gold.

As for Team Hell No, it’s equally unlikely that Bryan & Kane will resolve their issues with one another anytime soon. Nevertheless, in the aftermath of WWE Hell in a Cell, each of these unstable Superstars reserves the right to exclaim, “I am the Tag Team Champions!”

Kane 28 October 2012 – Team Hell No vs. Team Rhodes Scholars – WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Photos

“Daniel Bryan makes his way to the ring for his WWE Tag Team Championship Match at Hell in a Cell.”

“His tag team partner, Kane, makes a separate entrance.”

Because damnit, the red lights and stage pyros are not meant to be shared!

Sweet Jesus.

You know where I’m looking.

-fans self-

This is the one thing I hate about Kane being in a tag team – not enough photos!

Mind you, he is cute on the ring apron, cheering on Goat Face (yep, pretty sure I heard that one)!

Cody makes a classic blunder, trying to dislodge Kane from the top rope.

Kane was once again blind-tagged out so DBryan could grab for the glory – this is the beginning of Kane not being a happy bunny!

Not looking quite so supportive on the ring apron now . . .

“The reigning champions mismanage their anger in their title match’s final moments.”

Jeez, ya think? 😉

Kane is very unhappy. However . . . shoulderporn!

Epic thighs. Epic epic thighs.

Also yes, Brothers of Dysfunction for sure!

“Their disagreements ultimately cost them the victory, but not the WWE Tag Team Championships.”

Well, to be completely accurate, it was Kane attacking everyone in the ring that caused the DQ. Major Big Red Temper Tantrum. He was not a happy camper!

“Can WWE’s odd couple get on the same page before their next battle?”

-snickering- After that ass-slapping incident on SmackDown, I’d be more worried about Kane being sent for mandatory counselling about harrassment!

But there was a little snippet backstage later, as Kane and DBryan continued to wrangle about whose fault it was they lost the match.

That ended in Kane singing “Old MacDonald’s Farm” to DBryan. On account of him being a Goat Face, I guess.

You heard me right – Kane sang. My life is now complete. I can die happy. And very very amused!

Bring on more Team Hell No silliness on RAW, please!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Please read the terms of the licence before copying or sharing any part of this entry.

26 October 2012: SmackDown digitals – Kane

From WWE.com:

WWE Tag Team Champion Kane def. Cody Rhodes

With their partners Daniel Bryan and Damien Sandow flanking the action as part of the SmackDown announce team, Cody Rhodes took on Kane in a tough battle for momentum. This happened just two days before Team Rhodes Scholars would challenge the dysfunctional WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No at Sunday’s Hell in a Cell pay-per-view.

In the height of the fevered conflict, after catching Rhodes in the midst of his shrewd opponent’s attack, The Big Red Monster overcame the grandson of a plumber with a vicious Chokeslam.

During the action, Sandow once again claimed that he and his partner were the most “Intellectually Compatible Tag Team in WWE.” But whether the plan of Team Rhodes Scholars will be effective enough to capture the titles from Team Hell No this Sunday remains to be seen.

Kane 26 October 2012 – Kane vs. Cody Rhodes: Photos

Never get tired of the ring pyros!

And right into the action with a diving clothesline!

Oops. Falling on a spectacularly great ass! With a side order of shoulderporn – yep, I can find a silver lining in pretty much anything! 😉

Bye Cody!

Hello shoulderporn!

You know, you’d think these guys would work out that going high risk from the top rope on Kane when he’s still upright is a bad idea . . .

. . . because it ends up in leaping right into a vicious uppercut. How’s that feel, Cody? 😉

Also, I love this pic for reasons.

Ahem.

Moving on!

And then how’s a big boot to the face grab ya?

Long legs and shoulderporn – oh yeah, that grabs me pretty good! 😉

Then we’ll throw in a big old chokeslam for free!

Mega shoulderporn!

You know, I can even forgive that dropkick (and yep, I do have to admit Cody has an amazing dropkick) because of the excellent shoulderporn in this shot!

And then how about the mother and father of all chokeslams?

This shot just about kills me – the shoulder porn, the look on his face, and oh dear gods, the fuzzy little hairs on his forearm. That spectacular forearm.

All kinds of good!

WWE.com has video of the closing stages here.

From WWE.com:

Damien Sandow def. WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan

In the second singles match of the night between the reigning WWE Tag Team Title holders and their No. 1 contenders, Damien Sandow took on Daniel Bryan.

Prior to the start of the match, Sandow admonished the WWE Universe for their admiration of the word “Yes!” as he journeyed to the ring. He pontificated on a series of alternatives to further belittle the fans and to make the point as to why Team Rhodes Scholars would walk out of Hell in a Cell the new WWE Tag Team Champions.

And while Cody Rhodes actively voiced his own opinions about this Sunday when he joined the SmackDown announce team for the contest, Kane sat in as a completely silent participant.

Just as the intensity of the match reached a fever pitch and order completely broke down, The Big Red Monster pursued a retreating Sandow around the ring. This caused a distraction that allowed Rhodes to hurl Bryan into the steel ring post from behind, paving the way for “The Intellectual Savior of the Masses” to overcome Bryan with the Terminus.

Will the same outcome occur when WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No battles Team Road Scholars this Sunday?

-mad giggling fit-

What this fails to mention is the encounter between DBryan and Kane prior to the match.

Where Kane boasted that he’d won his match, and if DBryan couldn’t get the job done, it would point to him being the weak link in Team Hell No.

But hey, “No pressure.” -snickering-

DBryan’s music hits, Kane tells him that’s his cue and as DBryan turns to walk away . . . Kane slaps him on the ass.

You read that right – slaps him on the ass. I nearly died laughing!!

And then DBryan turns around and snaps, “No!”

Kane’s grinning and laughing and holy crap, this is just comedy gold! They are having so much damn fun with it!

Anyway, moving on!

Kane 26 October 2012 – Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow: Photos

I love Kane on commentary. Headset on, mic adjusted . . . and not a single word!

He barely looks interested!

He does look sexy though. The hand and the forearm – can never get enough of those. And I’m being distracted by his lips again . . .

He was interested enough to get involved when Cody decided to interfere, and of course, DBryan blamed him for the distraction that let Sandow pick up the win.

Honestly, never happy, that man! 😉

WWE.com has video here, and joy of joys, it includes the backstage scene before the match! Enjoy!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Please read the terms of the licence before copying or sharing any part of this entry.

22 October 2012: RAW digitals – Kane

From WWE.com:

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — Somewhere in the swamps of Jersey, across the parking lot from the same MetLife Stadium where WrestleMania 29 will be held next year, Raw kicked off with the long-awaited finale of the Tag Team Tournament to determine the No. 1 contenders to Team Hell No’s Tag Championships at Hell in a Cell. And when all the dust had settled, it was Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow, Team Rhodes Scholars, who proved tougher than the rest and punched their ticket to face the formidable champions.

Still, Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara certainly made things interesting for the cocky Team Rhodes Scholars, utilizing their high-flying lucha skills to even the playing field against the coordinated beatdowns of Rhodes and Sandow. Team Rhodes Scholars made an early attempt to turn the tide of the match by taking the fight to the outside, but Rey & Sin Cara hit back with a seated senton and suicide dive, respectively, against their brainy opponents.

Rhodes & Sandow would soon find their rhythm, though. They pinned Sin Cara in their corner and proving the old adage correct that two hearts (or in this case, Superstars) are better than one by unleashing a tandem stomping that left The International Sensation dazed and confused until Sin Cara was able to retaliate with an enzuigiri that toppled Cody Rhodes to the ground. Rhodes bounced back nicely, though, tagging back in Sandow and continuing their divide-and-conquer strategy, keeping Sin Cara grounded with a series of attacks that included the Elbow of Disdain from Sandow.

The Mexican Icon found his second wind when Rhodes took him up for a superplex, though, unleashing a tornado DDT that allowed him to tag in Mysterio. The Ultimate Underdog stormed into the match with a week’s worth of pent-up fury, unleashing a stupendous sequence of offense against Rhodes before nailing both Scholars with a double 619 and Droppin’ the Dime on Cody for the win … until Sandow literally threw himself under the referee’s falling arm to disrupt the three-count. The distraction was sufficient opportunity for Rhodes to wrench Mysterio into Cross Rhodes and slam him down for the win.

The fun and games weren’t done, however, as Kane and Daniel Bryan appeared on the TitanTron, congratulating Team Rhodes Scholars on their victory. But as for whether the new No. 1 contenders would capture the twin championships at Hell in a Cell, the bickering champions had one message: “HELL NO!”

(And, fair warning – it’s an awful image-heavy post. Yay for Kane-centric RAW! 😉 )

Kane 22 October 2012 – Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara vs. Team Rhodes Scholars: WWE Tag Team Championship No. 1 Contenders’ Final: Photos

“Kane and Daniel Bryan have a message for their future opponents.”

Well thank fuck it wasn’t Mysterio and Botch Cara! No, wait, that wasn’t it! 😉

“Will they win the Tag Team Championships? ‘Hell no!’ ”

WWE.com has video here. Most amused by Kane’s “magic trick”, where he does the “Now you see him” and then grabs DBryan by the beard to haul him behind for the “Now you don’t”!

From WWE.com:

Dolph Ziggler def. WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan

Dolph Ziggler was in the money on Raw Monday night when he squared off against Tag Team Champion (or Tag Team Champions, depending whom you ask) Daniel Bryan and, thanks to an inadvertent distraction from Kane, picked up a hard-fought win in IZOD Center.

Bryan and Ziggler built off their strong history of competition, stringing together a technically crisp contest that brought out the best in both Superstars and provided strong support for Bryan’s skill as a current champion and Ziggler’s as a potential future one. The match was dead even almost the entire way through; Bryan’s intricate mastery proved to be the perfect foil for The Showoff’s flashy dynamism. Each time Ziggler got a head of steam going, Bryan reversed Mr. Money in the Bank’s dizzying attacks into intricate holds like a surfboard and a Figure-Four Leglock. Ziggler seemingly gained the upper hand by suplexing Bryan off the apron and onto the outside area, but the flash, boom and burn of Kane’s entrance seemed to spell doom for The Showoff.

Kane’s presence seemed to galvanize Bryan into a late game run, as the “No!” man bounced between the ropes like a ping-pong ball before decking Ziggler with a clothesline. Bryan traded near-falls with The Showoff before Ziggler found his footing … and lost it just as quickly, missing a turnbuckle attack when Bryan dodged The Showoff’s leap, leaving Dolph to tumble painfully to the outside. Bryan countered with a high-risk attack of his own, and the two found themselves back into the ring. Ziggler struck fast, hitting a top-rope facebuster on the “No!” man, but Bryan rallied with a textbook kick to The Showoff’s head.

With victory in hand, Bryan seemed to set up for his final strike … until Kane decided to get the crowd riled up by instigating a “YES! YES! YES!” chant among the New Jersey faithful. This, of course, did not sit well with Bryan, and as the submission technician devolved into an irascible mess, Ziggler capitalized to hit Bryan with a top-rope Zig Zag for the victory.

The antics did not end there, however, as Team Hell No seemed ready to descend into physicality before Matt Striker made his presence known, announcing that Managing Supervisor Vickie Guerrero decreed Team Hell No would compete in a contest she referred to as “The NewlyTag Game” against Team Rhodes Scholars.

Kane 22 October 2012 – Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler: Photos

Being a supportive tag team partner . . . -snickering-

. . . oops. My bad? -still snickering-

God, these two just keep getting more and more amusing – I love it!

“Now honey, be reasonable – I was trying to help!”*

* May not be actual dialogue 😉

These two have their “WTF?” faces down pat!!

Man, Striker’s got some cohones, getting in the ring again with these two! Especially with this whacky idea of a game show!

WWE.com has the video here.

From WWE.com:

Team Rhodes Scholars refused to compete in “The NewlyTag Game”

Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty, and meet Kane & Daniel Bryan tonight in the IZOD Center for “The NewlyTag Game,” where tag team partners can display how well they know each other, moderated by none other than Matt Striker. What could go wrong?

Well, funny you should ask.

Tag Team Champions Team Hell No began the game, with Daniel Bryan and Kane each taking a turn on the mic to tell the WWE Universe about themselves.

Bryan was up first. “My name is Daniel. I am a former World Heavyweight Champion. I do not have a goat face. I am ‘The World’s Toughest Vegan.’ And more important than anything, I’M THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.”

Kane responded with a surprising revelation or three: “My name is Kane. I’m a Scorpio. I enjoy long walks on the beach, rainbows and puppies.”

Well, actually, not quite. But Bryan’s contestation of that argument (“YOU DO LOVE RAINBOWS!”) led to a signature bickering session between the champions until Team Rhodes Scholars decided to intervene. But they had no plans to participate in the game, however, as Damien Sandow deemed the contest no less than “the putrefaction of society,” before the No. 1 contenders stormed off stage, leaving Team Hell No to claim victory by forfeit.

No sooner had Bryan celebrated their triumph, however, than Kane set his sights yet again on Matt Striker. Striker, however, high-tailed it out of the ring with minimal fanfare, pausing at the top of the ramp to toss some snide comments Team Hell No’s way before running face-first into Big Show. The World’s Largest Athlete wasn’t one for games, either, tossing Striker unceremoniously aside before stomping down to the ring for his match against Kane.

Kane 22 October 2012 – ‘The NewlyTag Game’ with Team Hell No: Photos

“Matt Striker is the host of ‘The NewlyTag Game’ with Team Hell No.”

And once again, seeing Kane fold that incredibly tall frame (and those long legs) into an ordinary sized chair just reinforces that this is a seriously big man.

Who is also seriously luscious!

“The therapeutic game show, courtesy of Vickie Guerrero, is for partners to get to know one another better.”

Which is probably in no way a good thing with these two!

So let’s just pause here to enjoy Kane sitting there in that chair, with those long long legs. And just a hint of shoulderporn.

. . .

. . .

Fuck me, that’s sexy!

Ahem.

Moving on!

😉

” ‘My name is Daniel. I’m a former World Heavyweight Champion. I do not have a goat face! I am the world’s toughest vegan! And more importantly than anything else, I’m the Tag Team Champions!’ Bryan says.”

-snickering- And world’s tallest dwarf, you forgot that one, DBryan!

Also, distracted by Kane’s lips here . . .

Note to WWE photographers: see how when you focus on Matt Striker, the lusciousness that is Kane shoulderporn is all fuzzy and out of focus? Well fuck dat! Get your priorities right! We’re here for Kane, not Striker!

Striking a blow for Kane fangirls everywhere. I take no prisoners! (Well, except for Kane – I’d totally take him prisoner and keep him locked in my basement. Except I don’t have a basement.”

😉

See? That’s better! We have in-focus shoulderporn and those lips again . . . man’s got some great lips.

“The game show’s other special guests are the new No. 1 contenders, Team Rhodes Scholars, who refuse to “participate in such facetious tomfoolery”, according to Damien Sandow.

(And Damien had to say that, cos there’s no way Cody could lisp his way through that mouthful! 😉 )

“After Team Rhodes Scholars leaves, Striker declares Team Hell No the winners of the game, which Bryan is very excited about.”

Kane, not so much, I’m guessing! 😉

“As Striker refuses to wish Team Hell No good luck in their match at Hell in a Cell, Big Show appears.”

“Big Show stares down his opponent in the next match: Kane.”

Fuck me deaf, dumb and blind, that is one sexy shot!

How do I get me some of that? 😉

WWE.com has video here – not the complete segment, but it’s enough to hear Kane’s “I’m a Scorpio. I enjoy long walks on the beach, rainbows and puppies.” Which had me practically rolling on the floor laughing! Mr “I have no sense of humour” strikes again!

From WWE.com:

Big Show def. WWE Tag Team Champion Kane

When big collides with big, what unfolds is typically something along the lines of a Hollywood monster movie. Big Show and Kane’s clashes are similarly the stuff of WWE legend, and their battle Monday night lived up to the legacy of their previous ones. And after a thunderous fight, it was The World’s Largest Athlete who stood tall when the bell rang.

Show looked dominant heading into his World Heavyweight Championship Match with Sheamus at WWE Hell in a Cell, using his might to overpower Kane and prevent The Big Red Monster from getting into a groove against him. Show manhandled The Devil’s Favorite Demon and seemingly put Kane down for a quick defeat. But the Tag Team Champion rallied quickly, mounting an offensive strike against the giant and preparing to deliver the Chokeslam … until Team Rhodes Scholars materialized atop the stage, distracting the Tag Champions and giving Big Show the opportunity to fell Kane with a KO Punch for the 1-2-3, and allowing Team Rhodes Scholars to get the last word with an attack on Bryan. Safe to say the Tag Team Title Match at Hell in a Cell will be a must-see.

Kane 22 October 2012 – Kane vs. Big Show: Photos

Man, I know I say it all the time, but jeez, up against Show, Kane is looking positively tiny! Man is in simply phenomenal shape!

Wish there was a close up of this one – nothing better than that long lean frame stretched out like that!

But I’ll take this one, for a closeup of the shoulderporn! 😉

Oh, now this reminds me – an old school friend of mine, who I’m in contact with via Facebook, sent me a message a couple of months back to brag on how he’d met Big Show just out and about with his wife in Melbourne just before the WWE’s recent tour down under. Said he was a really nice bloke, and even got in good with Show’s wife by pointing her in the direction of a couple of good sales (my friend has a wife and daughter, so he knows where women like to shop!).

He also said “By god, he’s a big bugger!”

Well duh! 😉

And yes, I was jealous as hell, just like I was when my ex-hairdresser told me about her close encounter with John Cena in an airport in Serbia!

Upside down shoulderporn – and yes, you do have to be a big bugger to toss someone as big as Kane around like that!

Now, I could do without knowing Show is about to drop a massive elbow on Kane’s chest, but holy hells, leaving that aside, there is not much hotter than Kane laying there flat on his back like that!

I’d kinda like to have my arms wrapped around Kane . . . oops, did I say that out loud? 😉

Another angle on that bearhug, from Kane’s Official Facebook page.

Coincidence that when DBryan comes down to ringside for moral support, suddenly Kane starts getting some offence in? Or is this just WWE.com getting the digitals out of order, as they are wont to do?

(Have had one busy weekend and haven’t even seen Raw yet or I’d know for myself!)

Also, sidenote: I love how when JBL is on commentary and Scott Armstrong is the ref, he refers to Scott as #hardbodyref – see, JBL knows what’s happening on Twitter. Let him be the social media ambassador – forget paying random celebrities to say what you want them to. Because that sucks dead donkey balls.

Oops, yeah, spoke to soon about Kane getting some offense in!

Yeah! DDT, bitches! (Sorry, was channelling Jesse Pinkman there for a second!)

Squee! Diving clothesline! Love that move!

Another angle on that DDT, maybe – but man, yeah, loving that long lean torso all stretched back like that!

Show’s going for the cover, and Team Rhodes Scholars just showed up, if the look on DBryan’s face is anything to go by!

So, the beatdown by Rhodes Scholars, and we get treated to Kane laying there all luscious and man, he really has a fantastic ass!

-snickering- As @TheMattFowler said in this week’s Wrestling Wrap Up, “JR called Kane and Daniel Bryan “more dysfunctional than the Kardashians.” But…aren’t the Kardashians just dumb whores? Are they dysfunctional as a family? I’ve never watched anything with them in it so y’all will have to correct me if I’m off base. Still though. Dat ass! On Kane. Amirite?”

Nice to know Matt and I agree on that! (Seriously, read that at work and almost hurt myself from not killing myself laughing!)

And now we get him flat on his back, although the photographer’s totally on the wrong side of the ring . . .

And some shoulderporn to round it out . . .

WWE.com has video here.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Please read the terms of the licence before copying or sharing any part of this entry.

19 October 2012: SmackDown digitals – Kane

From WWE.com:

“Miz TV” returned to SmackDown, with special guests WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No

On the heels of his Intercontinental Championship loss to Kofi Kingston on WWE Main Event this past Wednesday, an intense Miz opened “Miz TV” by invoking his rematch against the high-flying new champion at WWE Hell in a Cell. He then went on to introduce his guests, the volatile WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No.

When Daniel Bryan threatened him, the outspoken Awesome One suggested that the submission specialist was clearly “the problem” within the dysfunctional tag team titleholders before stating that whomever they ended up facing at the coming pay-per-view in nine days — Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara or Team Rhodes Scholars — Team Hell No would be defeated.

An argument between Bryan and Kane quickly cut Miz out of the conversation, as the angry pair bickered back and forth, each screaming “I am the Tag Team Champions!” But that dispute was halted when they were interrupted by Big Show.

Informing Kane that their fight could wait until this Monday on Raw, The World’s Largest Athlete turned his attention to Bryan, calling the bearded grappler’s World Title victory over him last year “the biggest fluke of all time” and insisting that nothing like that would ever happen again.

Just as it looked as if Kane and Big Show might battle three days early, Mr. Money in the Bank, Dolph Ziggler, emerged, insisting that past cash-ins like Bryan’s didn’t matter, as he planned to cash in his own contract to become the World Heavyweight Champion at Hell in a Cell — joking that if Bryan did it to Big Show, “How hard can it be?”

As The Miz tried futilely to regain control of his show over all the Superstars yelling back and forth, SmackDown General Manager Booker T opted to join the party, declaring two main-event caliber matches for the blue brand: Team Hell No vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big Show and The Miz against Randy Orton.

Kane 19 October 2012 – ‘Miz TV’ with special guests WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No: Photos

(Interesting note: Every single photo of The Miz in this set has been airbrushed to remove the nasty cut he’s got over his right eyebrow as a result of that kick from Kofi on Monday Night Raw. And they’ve done the same thing for the photo set from his match against Randy Orton. Or deliberately chosen shots that obscure his face. Even though the ref can clearly be seen in the first set of those shots putting on a pair of rubber gloves, in case a wild blow opened him up again and he started bleeding. Cos God forbid we should see that someone who’s actually a professional at this really got hurt doing it!)

“Miz introduces his guests, the WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No.”

Who immediately move into a comedy act that had me in stitches! Even Miz got in on the act, at one point referring to DBryan’s “friends in the petting zoo”!

“Miz suggests that Daniel Bryan is the problem with the dysfunctional tag team, but an argument between Bryan and Kane quickly cuts The Awesome One out of the conversation.”

Seriously, the bit where DBryan insists that the Devil’s Favorite Demon had nothing on him, because he’s the “World’s Toughest Vegan” had me in stitches!

And Mr “I have no sense of humour” comes right back with “The world’s toughest vegan? That’s like being the World’s Tallest Dwarf. [pause, then very drily] Of course, you’ve got that one covered too.”

Hysterical!

These two were preventing one another from answering questions – DBryan covered Kane’s mic, Kane put a big gloved paw over DBryan’s mouth – and then when the Miz did try to get a word in edgewise, they gave him the in unison “No!”

God love them, they’re having so much fun!

“Their bickering is interrupted by Big Show, who states that he doesn’t have a problem with Kane . . . ”

” . . . but he does with Bryan, calling the submission technician’s World Title victory over him last year ‘the biggest fluke of all time’.”

He did say he and Kane have a date on Monday night, so at least we know we’ll get some Kane action! 😉

But see, you don’t want to get in a pissing contest with Kane, because he’s right up there in Big Show’s grill, telling him they don’t have to wait til Monday night – they can just go at it right now.

Show’s appearance somewhat inexplicably brings out Dolph Ziggler, who yammers on about how he’s going to cash in on either Sheamus or Show after Hell in A Cell. Because after all, if Daniel Bryan can cash in on Big Show, just how hard can it be?

Then it degenerates into a shouting match, of course, until Booker T comes out to declare two matches for the night . . .

” . . . Team Hell No vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big Show . . . ”

With Team Hell No doing their best “WTF” faces in the background!

Oh, and Miz taking on Randy Orton next – so scurry, crew people, quick like bunnies, and break down the Miz TV set for the match up next! 😉

WWE.com has video here of most of the amusing stuff, but hit up YouTube to see it all!

From WWE.com:

WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No def. Big Show & Dolph Ziggler

In SmackDown’s second explosive tag team match of the night, a contest made by GM Booker T earlier in the show, Big Show joined forces with Dolph Ziggler against the dreaded, dysfunctional WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No.

In the brutal showdown that followed, Bryan kicked Big Show’s feet out from under him, dropping the immense giant off the ring apron, before tagging Kane in. The Big Red Monster eventually went for the Chokeslam on The Showoff. But before Kane could execute, Bryan once again tagged himself in. As The Devil’s Favorite Demon brought the distraction to their adversaries, Bryan made Mr. Money in the Bank tap out with the “No!” Lock.

As the titleholders engaged in a post-match argument, once again screaming “I am the Tag Team Champions!” to each other at the top of the ramp, they were suddenly attacked from behind by Team Rhodes Scholars, who sent a strong message that they intend to challenge them at WWE Hell in a Cell.

[Bwahahaha! So I’m guessing that Rey-rey’s “flu” means the last round of the number one contenders tournament, scheduled for Monday, is a no-go. Funny, I’ve never had a “flu” that made me walk with a limp . . . 😉 ]

Kane 19 October 2012 – Team Hell No vs. Big Show & Dolph Ziggler: Photos

Miz made reference in the opening spot on the show to how Kane and DBryan have separate entrances, which proves they aren’t a proper tag team. Fuck dat! No way should Kane have to give up his red lights and flames – or share them with DBryan!

DBryan did most of the . . . well, I won’t say it was the heavy lifting. More like the “getting his ass handed to him” in this match.

But that just meant Kane getting very excited on the apron, urging “Daniel” on, and begging for the tag. So damn cute!

But we did get some classic Kane moves, like this big boot! Love a man who’s that flexible!

However, when DBryan finally does get to tag Kane in for the second time, it’s not long before DBryan tags himself back in to go for the pin on a shaken Ziggler.

Nice ass, Kane 😉

As seems to be the “go to” ending for tag matches, Show interferes as DBryan is going for the knockout move on Ziggler. Bringing Kane in to intervene.

Did I say before Kane was flexible? Holyfuckinghells, how about he’s super-flexible!?

Show dispatched, Ziggler goes to make a move to dispose of Kane. Which fails because Kane is super-awesome like that. 😉

And then, like a good boy, Kane exits the ring, leaving Ziggler to fall prey to the No Lock by DBryan and tap out like a little girl.

There’s the usual bickering post the bell, which continues as they head up to the Tron . . . and where Team Rhodes Scholars attack.

All the digitals are of DBryan, but Kane got tossed off the Tron stage to the arena floor, which instantly put me into “Poor Kane!” hurt/comfort mode.

WWE.com has video here, but it doesn’t show the post match beatdown.

However, check out the video of the Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett match here, because about a minute into that one, Team Hell No do a run-in and brawl their way through the lumberjacks, heading for Team Rhodes Scholars.

Heath Slater, who like the rest of the Three Man Band, now sporting leather pants, looks like he escaped from a leather-scene night club, looks like he thinks he’s got a shot against Kane at this point.

Yep, that’d be Heath on the ground there, felled by an uppercut from Kane on the way through like a big red wrecking ball!

Cody jumps in the ring to try to get away, but Sheamus is having none of that and hurls him back out to his fate!

And while Sheamus picks up his win, Kane and DBryan take off through the crowd chasing Team Rhodes Scholars!

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15 October 2012: RAW digitals – Kane

From WWE.com:

Big Show def. Daniel Bryan after demanding a match with him

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – As Raw began on Monday night, Big Show stormed to the ring with vindication on his mind. As the Music City crowd roared its disapproval, the giant recapped the past few weeks of his encounters with World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus — specifically, his foiling of the Brogue Kick last week on Raw and the scientific measurement of his KO Punch’s power last Friday on SmackDown. But more than just disparaging The Celtic Warrior, Big Show came to Raw with a monkey on his back: his much-maligned 45-second World Heavyweight Championship reign, which has been the subject of much derision by current World Champion Sheamus as their title match at Hell in a Cell approaches.

Happily, The World’s Largest Athlete came armed with a solution: a one-on-one match with Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan, the man who cut his title reign short that fateful night at WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs via a Money in the Bank cash-in. “One match, one punch, one pin, I’ll erase it,” Show thundered. “BRING ME DANIEL BRYAN!!!”

Backstage, however, the irritable submission expert was loath to grant the giant his request, scoffing at Big Show’s apparent inability to get over his embarrassment at Bryan’s hands and refusing to compete against the giant. That is, until Raw General Manager AJ Lee skipped onto the scene to pull rank on the “No!” man, forcing her former paramour into competition against his old foil. Suffice it to say, Kane (and the assembled WWE Superstars watching the drama unfold) found the whole thing highly amusing, as collective cries of “Yes!” followed Bryan out of the locker room area and toward the ring where the giant lie in wait.

Sadly, there was nowhere to hide for Bryan when he faced Show again. While Bryan managed to upset the giant on numerous occasions thanks to a wily exploitation of technicalities, the submission technician found himself with his back to the wall against The World’s Largest Athlete. Despite his best efforts, Bryan just wasn’t able to topple the giant again.

Bryan went back to his old game plan of attempting to “chop the big redwood down,” as J.R. said, unleashing a barrage of kicks on the giant’s knees and attempting to evade Show’s powerful strikes. But despite his gusty recovery from a spear and a bear hug by the giant, David fell to Goliath when Bryan found himself on the receiving end of a chokeslam that put the Tag Team Champion(s?) down for the count. Thankfully, Bryan was spared the further degradation of a KO Punch when Kane came to his partner’s rescue (though, to be fair, the demon in red wasn’t above a few laughs at Bryan’s expense before the situation turned dire). Kane stared down The World’s Largest Athlete as he was about to deck the submission technician, seemingly dissuading Show from unloading further on the fallen Bryan.

Safe to say Bryan’s had better nights, but at least The Big Red Monster had his buddy’s back.

Kane 15 October 2012 – Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show: Photos

“Backstage, Raw General Manager AJ Lee announces that Bryan will indeed face The World’s Largest Athlete immediately!”

And Kane found this very amusing – two thumbs up for Big Red Sex God laughter!

And found it even more amusing when Big Show beat Goatface . . . errr, DBryan. More Big Red Sex God laughter!

“The other WWE Tag Team Champion, Kane, walks down to the ring, staring down Big Show.”

Well actually, he was walking down to the ring laughing at DBryan. And smiling! Holy hells, loving that!

Say what now? Kane’s growing a conscience about after the bell beatdowns? Say it isn’t so!

This is getting a bit bromantic, all this rescuing that’s going on.

“Big Show retreats, leaving Kane and his fellow WWE Tag Team Champion in the ring.”

Oh that’s better! Back to insulting and belittling – I can deal with that! 😉

WWE.com has video here – only of the closing stages of the match though. So if you want to see Kane looking luscious and amused backstage, hit up YouTube!

From WWE.com:

WWE Tag Team Champion Kane def. Matt Striker

It’s safe to say that Matt Striker had a different scenario in mind when he asked Raw GM AJ Lee for an apology from Kane following The Big Red Monster’s attack of Striker on SmackDown. But in an instance of a poor-at-best choice of words, Striker made the mistake of referring to Kane’s apparent amnesty as “crazy,” which led to AJ putting him in the ring against The Big Red Monster on Raw.

However, Striker had one ace up his sleeve when he found himself staring Kane in the face: He appealed to Kane’s recent progress in anger management. “What would Dr. Shelby say?” Striker pleaded with The Big Red Monster. “These people don’t want to see mindless carnage,” Striker said (cue the “MIND-LESS-CAR-NAGE!!” chants). And, after a tense moment or two, Striker seemed to get his wish when Kane wrapped Striker up in a good old-fashioned Team Hell No hug … which led into yet another Chokeslam to the embattled broadcaster. The carnage was far from mindless, though, as Kane took the opportunity to get the fallen Striker’s thoughts on the contest following his loss.

With Striker flattened on the mat, The Big Red Monster grabbed a mic and asked the question on everyone’s mind: “Tough loss. How are you feeling?” Striker’s defeated muttering seemed to satisfy Kane, though. “Couldn’t have said it better myself,” The Devil’s Favorite Demon said before cutting the impromptu interview short, grabbing hold of his title and roaring “I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!!” for good measure.

Kane 15 October 2012 – Kane vs. Matt Striker: Photos

“WWE Tag Team Champion Kane makes a fiery entrance.”

Always amuses me how this seems to frighten his opponents – you’d think they’d be used to it by now! 😉

“Kane’s opponent, Matt Striker, pleads with him to call off the match.”

And someone on commentary explains how, even though Striker’s not a wrestler any more, he still carries his gear with him. Old wrestler’s habit, apparently.

Also, Striker’s got something truly freaky happening on his left shoulder there . . . wondering if that’s why he’s not an active wrestler any more.

Also also? Kane’s ass is sublime. Just putting that out there. 😉

(from WWE’s Official Kane Facebook page)

“I’m a broadcaster now,” Striker says, asking Kane to think about what Dr. Shelby would want him to do.”

Which does indeed make the Big Red Sex God pause in a thoughtful manner.

“Nobody wants to see mindless carnage,” Striker says.

Like hell! Bring it ON!

And the crowd, like good sheep (and possibly prompted by a plant or two) soon began the “Mindless Carnage!” chants!

And this continues to absolutely kill me! Kane offering to hug it out FTW! -mad giggling fit-

“The Big Red Monster surprisingly offers to hug it out with Striker.”

Man’s a damn good hugger too, I got to give him that.

And now we get a closeup of the shoulderporn, and the little fuzzy hairs on Kane’s back and his hairy forearms and my mind goes completely to mush!

“The hug quickly turns into physicality.”

Now see, I’m liking that – Kane using the hug as a weapon! But that’s just how I like my monsters!

Mmmm, shoulderporn and intensity!

Slightly obscured shoulderporn and a mother of a chokeslam!

“Kane chokeslams Striker for a quick victory.”

I’ll say it was quick – two hugs and a chokeslam. Is that the wrestling equivalent of two pumps and a dribble? (Sorry Kane, not implying anything, you know that – but that line was just begging to be taken!)

Ahem.

Moving on!

😉

And there’s the pin . . . and the shoulderporn. All is right with the world!

Uh oh, he’s got a mic! This is gonna be good!

Oh now I know they’re just trying to kill me! The headtilt, the little fuzzies on the back of his shoulders, the amused expression and oh yes, the shoulderporn . . . -fans self-

“Kane turns the tables on the announcer and interviews him, questioning him about their match.”

Holyfuckinghells!

The way Kane’s half-laying there, all casual – Jesus wept, that’s HAWT!

And we all know the man’s magic on the mic, but this sarcastic side is just double HAWT!

Plus there’s shoulderporn . . .

(this one’s from the WWE’s Official Facebook page)

. . . happy place!

WWE.com has the video here.

Now, you’ve probably heard me bitching about the crappy internet speeds we get in Australia, but sometimes while the WWE videos are buffering, this is worth it:

Mmmm, yeah, liking that a whole lot!

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12 October 2012: SmackDown digitals – Kane

From WWE.com:

WWE Tag Team Champion Kane def. Dolph Ziggler by Disqualification

Following a Tout challenger by Dolph Ziggler earlier this week, The Showoff took on The Big Red Monster, Kane, one-on-one. At the height of the action, as Kane looked to attack his bleach blond opponent from the top rope and Vickie Guerrero climbed up on the apron, Ziggler suddenly attacked The Devil’s Favorite Demon with the Money in the Bank briefcase — giving the masked Superstar the victory by disqualification.

As Kane regained the post-match advantage on The Showoff, Daniel Bryan ran down to the ring, coming to the aid of his partner two seconds too late. As Kane and Bryan began to argue with each other yet again, Matt Striker entered the ring and attempted to get an interview with Team Hell No. When he questioned the submission specialist on speculation that he was the weak link in the team, Bryan put the SmackDown announcer in the “No!” Lock. Kane yanked his partner off him by the beard, only to hit Striker with the Chokeslam himself.

While WWE Tag Team Champion Team Hell No’s opponent at Hell in a Cell will be set in stone after this week’s RAW, there is no telling what will come of the latest attack on a WWE announcer.

Kane 12 October 2012 – Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler: Photos

Starting things off right! Well, not right in the sense of Ziggler being on the offensive, but right in the sense of Kane laying there looking all luscious and hel-lo! Shoulderporn!

Now, in typical WWE.com fashion (Sorry Steph, I’m sure you’re a nice lady and a great mom, but you are seriously shit at managing a website), the digitals are out of order.

At one point about a third of the way into the match, Kane had an issue with his left elbow pad sliding way down his arm. Pretty much to his wrist – at which point, he just tore it off and threw it towards one of the corners.

And then, holy hells, the sight of that one bare arm was like pure porn!

I mean, Jesus wept, get a load of this shot! (Man, Ziggler ate some serious turnbuckle on this one. Snapped his head back but good – wouldn’t be surprised if it actually rang his bell some.)

Look. At. Those. Muscles.

HolyMaryMotherOfGod, that’s hot!

Still drooling over that naked arm.

But I noticed something else – and it’s not the first time. When something kinda goes awry in the ring – like the elbow pad somehow getting dragged down by a move not happening perfectly – man, Kane seems to really fire up afterwards.

Like he’s pissed at things going wrong. Seriously pissed.

Poor Ziggler – bad day to be in the ring with Kane for him! 😉

Kane’s got better legs than Ziggler. Just putting that out there.

Damn fine legs!

Oh this bit was priceless! Kane clotheslines Ziggler over the top rope, he hangs on and skins the cat back into the ring . . . and immediately charges into a big boot to the face, which neatly flips him back over the top rope! No save on that one, he face planted but good!

Bet this was about the point when he started thinking that challenge issued by Tout was a bad idea.

(For the record, I still hate that stupid Tout thing. And I was pissed beyond belief they wasted my time with it on SmackDown – who the fuck cares what the 85% think should happen in Hell in a Cell for Punk? That decision’s gonna be made by the doctors who’ll state whether Cena’s fit to compete.)

See, told you the digitals were out of order – that left arm elbow brace is now magically back in place!

Two chokeslams in one week? Man, whose Wheaties did Ziggler piss in? 😉

Mmmm, shoulderporn!

Another priceless bit! Vickie proves she’s got a set of balls, getting up on the ring apron to lecture Kane about going to the top rope! He’s pointing at her and telling her to get down, so is the ref, and meanwhile sneaky Ziggler has the Money in the Bank briefcase . . .

Oh, and speaking of priceless, here’s an exchange on Twitter that makes Edge (@EdgeRatedR) a must-follow!

@KManKurtovic18: @EdgeRatedR What is actually in the “Money in the Bank” briefcase? I don’t think anyone has ever stated it.
Adam (Edge) Copeland @EdgeRatedR -toothbrush, sharpie, clean pair of underoos(spiderman of course), 100k cash, a bar of kryptonite, Yanni cd and a wombat

Cue mad cackling from me!

Proving he is one tough son of a hombre, Kane takes that briefcase (containing a wombat, and those are sturdy little buggers who weigh quite a bit!) to the gut and still comes back firing at Ziggler!

And then seriously, I died laughing! Because DBryan comes charging into the ring, just as Kane’s about to give Ziggler the mother and father of all chokeslams, and interposes himself between the two. To “rescue” Kane.

Kane’s all “What the hell are you doing?” and “I had this!” and oh my God, the veins in that naked forearm are HAWT!

Kane in a fit of temper strips off the other elbow brace, so we got two naked arms and all those muscles and oh my yes, the growling!

And Matt Striker, with what will definitely win a Slammy for this year’s “Most ill-timed in-ring interview spot EVER”! 😉

I think it was the statement to DBryan that “Most people believe you are the weakest link” that made Goatface snap. Kane just smirked.

But DBryan’s got Striker on the mat, the No lock on, and Kane’s standing over him going, “No! No!” Like you would with a puppy that’s chewing on your favourite slipper!

-cackling- And then Kane reaches down and grabs DBryan by his beard! That’s right – got two handfuls of goat beard and hauled him up to his feet!

Seriously, I was just howling with laughter by this point!

Kane then helps Matt Striker to his feet, being a kinder, gentler monster of late . . . then grabs him in a goozle, and it’s DBryan’s turn to be screaming, “No!”

I almost feel sorry for Matt Striker.

Almost.

It was a beautiful chokeslam though! 😉

WWE.com has video here.

But the fun wasn’t quite over.

DBryan got a match against Bertie, and before the match, he runs into Kane backstage, and tells him, “Even if it seems like I’m in trouble, I don’t want you even thinking about coming out to rescue me, okay?”

To which Kane responds, “Don’t worry. I won’t.”

WWE.com has this video exclusive of what happened after Kane kept his promise and didn’t come out to “rescue” DBryan.

It includes the original backstage bit, the closing stages of the match, and the aftermath (starts around 1:30). Which is all kinds of fucking brilliantly funny! It ends with the two of them screaming “Yes!” and “No!” at one another and DBryan finally says, “I win. I did it longer.”

So fucking funny! Man, I hope this goes on forever!

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8 October 2012: RAW digitals – Kane

From WWE.com:

WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No def. Alberto Del Rio & Dolph Ziggler

Team Hell No continues to be a holy terror for their opponents as, despite their trademark bickering, Kane & Daniel Bryan racked up yet another win, this time against the duo of Alberto Del Rio & Dolph Ziggler on Monday Night Raw.

The infighting among the champions started before the match even began, when Bryan interrupted Kane’s entrance to proclaim himself the Tag Team Champions. But even with the occasional spat, Kane & Bryan’s odd-couple efficiency as a team was on display against Del Rio & Ziggler, who were unable to find their groove for much of the contest. It was Bryan who started things off, grounding Ziggler and then Del Rio with his trademark technical proficiency before Kane tagged himself in to pummel The Showoff with a sequence of power moves that saw Dolph thrown airborne multiple times in the span of a few moments.

Ziggler & Del Rio rallied, though, eventually forcing Kane to tag Bryan back in and allowing the “No!” man a window to attack The Showoff. Bryan’s flashiness nearly cost the champions, though, when Ziggler rolled up a risky top rope maneuver for a near-fall and reached Del Rio for a tag against the former World Heavyweight Champion. Del Rio and Ziggler traded strikes on Bryan for the next few minutes, keeping the submission technician at bay while blocking any opportunity to tag in Team Hell No’s monstrous other half.

The plan seemed well on its way to working, too, as Del Rio & Ziggler left Bryan dazed and confused after a long-form beatdown that seemed to spell the end for Team Hell No’s chances in the match. But after withstanding a beating at the hands of Del Rio & Ziggler, Bryan eventually found his opportunity, hauling Del Rio into the turnbuckle and finally summoning The Devil’s Favorite Demon into the match. Del Rio & Ziggler again seemed to have the match in hand, though, when they foiled a double-Chokeslam from Kane.

But the oddly contentious teamwork by Kane and Bryan came in handy when all was said and done. Each time one the twosome tagged themselves into the match, it left Del Rio & Ziggler unable to rally and counter. A missile dropkick from Bryan, followed by a Chokeslam from The Big Red Monster, finally spelled the end for Team Hell No’s latest challengers.

Kane 8 October 2012 – Team Hell No vs. Alberto Del Rio & Dolph Ziggler: Photos

Well hello there, good lookin’!

And they’re at it already! Man, so loving how much fun they’re having with this!

Don’t mind me, just appreciating Kane’s arm just there . . .

Now, very busy weekend here, so haven’t even seen the match in its entirety, but I love this shot. Because either Kane really does want DBryan to tag him in, cos he thinks DBryan is screwing it up, or, and vastly more amusing, he’s reaching out for the tag and at the last minute pulls his hand away.

Either way, I’m good with it! 😉

Take that, Ziggler! Dunno whether it was a clothesline or an uppercut, but – shoulderporn!

And now it’s Bertie’s turn to play. Bad Bertie!

Very bad Bertie! (Although I have to admit, that enziguiri is a thing of beauty.)

Mmmm, more shoulderporn!

And check out this one from the official Kane Facebook page!

Oddly, pictures of the managers (Vickie and Ricardo) were more important that seeing Kane hit the chokeslam and get the pin. But okay, we’re back to “I’m the Tag Team Champions!” again!

You know, Kane ought to remind DBryan that he really was once the Tag Team Champions, winning a four team Ladder match without his partner Hurricane to pick up the belts. A match that scored Match of the Year on Raw’s Tenth Anniversary Show.

Man, but Kane looked good in black jeans that night . . .

Ah, memories.

WWE.com has video here – enjoy!

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5 October 2012: SmackDown digitals – Kane

5 October 2012

From WWE.com:

WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No def. Alberto Del Rio & David Otunga

Requesting time to speak to the WWE Universe, David Otunga addressed last week’s attack by Alberto Del Rio on Randy Orton after SmackDown went off the air. The post-show assault had served as a follow-up to an earlier attack by The Mexican Aristocrat that same night, resulting in his helping to cost Orton his chance to become No. 1 contender to the World Title at WWE Hell in a Cell. Otunga thanked Del Rio for his actions, before being interrupted by The Viper’s music.

However, instead of Orton, it turned out to be Del Rio himself, mocking and humiliating the absent Apex Predator with his best Viper impression. As the Mexican Superstar gloated that he was “the new Apex Predator of the WWE,” GM Booker T emerged. He ruled that since Orton was not there, Del Rio & Otunga’s schedule was freed up enough to face WWE Tag Team Champion, Team Hell No!

In the heated tag team match that followed, Kane hit the Chokeslam on Otunga. But, before he could go for the pin, Bryan tagged himself in, delivering a headbutt off the top rope to pick up the win — an action that once again allowed the submission specialist to steal the glory away from his dangerous tag team partner. As the smoke cleared, Team Hell No was left screaming at each other, “I am the Tag Team Champions.”

Requesting time to speak to the WWE Universe, David Otunga addressed last week’s attack by Alberto Del Rio on Randy Orton after SmackDown went off the air. (WATCH) The post-show assault had served as a follow-up to an earlier attack by The Mexican Aristocrat that same night, resulting in his helping to cost Orton his chance to become No. 1 contender to the World Title at WWE Hell in a Cell. Otunga thanked Del Rio for his actions, before being interrupted by The Viper’s music.

However, instead of Orton, it turned out to be Del Rio himself, mocking and humiliating the absent Apex Predator with his best Viper impression. As the Mexican Superstar gloated that he was “the new Apex Predator of the WWE,” GM Booker T emerged. He ruled that since Orton was not there, Del Rio & Otunga’s schedule was freed up enough to face WWE Tag Team Champion, Team Hell No!

In the heated tag team match that followed, Kane hit the Chokeslam on Otunga. But, before he could go for the pin, Bryan tagged himself in, delivering a headbutt off the top rope to pick up the win — an action that once again allowed the submission specialist to steal the glory away from his dangerous tag team partner. As the smoke cleared, Team Hell No was left screaming at each other, “I am the Tag Team Champions.”

Kane 5 October 2012 – WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No v.s Alberto Del Rio & David Otunga: Photos

” . . . They will face Tag Team Champions, Team Hell No!”

That’s what you get for mocking the Viper, Bertie! (Man, gonna miss Sheamus calling him that while they’re feuding!)

And hel-lo Kane!

Diving clothesline – yay!

Also, shoulderporn!

Sidewalk slam!  Looooong legs! 😉

“Kane plants Otunga with a Chokeslam!”

Yes, he does!

“Not to be outdone, Bryan tags himself in and hits Otunga with a headbutt off the top rope.”

I dunno about Kane, but that’d piss me off!

(Only included this one for Kane’s legs as he’s laying in the corner – loving me the long legs, yanno?)

Oh man, slap that smug look off his goatface, Kane!

-mad giggling- Did you hear during the match, Kane on the apron, calling out, “Come on, goatface!”  -DIES!-

Also?  Nice ass 😉

“I am the Tag Team Champions!”

Seriously, a guy that big gets in your face with a yell like that?  Only proves DBryan’s unstable for arguing back!

And mmmmm, shoulderporn!
Bit light on with the digitals – but hey, two doses of Kane in one week?  I’ll take it! 😉

WWE.com has video here – enjoy!

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1 October 2012: Raw digitals – Kane

1 October 2012

From WWE.com:

WWE Champion CM Punk and Paul Heyman demanded an apology from Raw General Manager AJ Lee

OKLAHOMA CITY — The Voice of the Voiceless, CM Punk, took to the airwaves as Raw began, throwing accusations of cowardice in the general direction of both John Cena and Mick Foley. Punk condemned them for their actions the previous week (Cena for battering Punk with a lead pipe while the WWE Champion’s back was turned and Foley for a perceived act of disrespect in the locker room area as Raw went to black). While The Second City Saint showed little to no remorse for his attack on The Hardcore Legend in the locker room, he did say that Mrs. Foley’s Baby Boy managed to reach Punk with his impassioned plea to face John Cena at Hell in a Cell for the WWE Title. That said, he must not have reached the WWE Champion all too well, because despite Foley’s “eloquent” speech, the match was still not going to happen.

With that business settled, The Voice of the Voice of the Voiceless, Paul Heyman, was next to step up to the mic. He took Raw General Manager AJ Lee to task for striking him last week following the mad scientist’s marriage proposal and called for her termination as GM for violating a previous edict by the WWE Board of Directors preventing AJ from putting her hands on any competitors, managers or the like ever again. And who would fill the power void left by Miss Lee’s hypothetical removal from power? Paul Heyman.

Vickie Guerrero, however, was not having it. Flanked by Dolph Ziggler, the “Queen Diva” strode to the ring with great purpose and made her case for assuming the GM position. Jaw-jacking followed, which left The Showoff to assume the unlikely role of peacekeeper: What if, Ziggler posed, Vickie and Heyman were to team up as Co-GMs following AJ’s potential ouster.

This left AJ no choice but to make her presence known, revealing to her assembled, would-be usurpers that the Board of Directors had placed her on probation, and she had hired an “Executive Coach” to help her through an evaluation period. Which promptly brought out …

Daniel Bryan?

Yes (yes, yes, yes), Team Hell No’s bearded technical maven stormed down to the ring, somehow managing between his apoplectic screams of “NO!” to assert that AJ’s issues have been compounded by her dumping at the hands of Bryan following his WrestleMania loss. Bryan nefariously twiddled his beard as he extolled his own physical virtues (“I AM HANDSOME!!!!”) and championship acumen (“I’M THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!!”). This brought out Kane, who tossed a compliment AJ’s way (“she is a phenomenal kisser!”) before correcting one of Bryan’s points: that Kane, not Bryan, was the Tag Team Champions.

Chaos followed, with Kane, Bryan, Ziggler, Punk, Vickie and Heyman all screaming over each other before AJ regained control of the masses. “This is my show,” seethed the boss lady, decreeing that the night’s main event would be Punk & Ziggler facing the WWE Tag Team Champions, Team Hell No.

Kane 1 October 2012 – AJ Lee makes the main event for Raw: Photos

Okay, so there was lots of yakking (see what I did there, ignoring all of that unimportant stuff) before Kane made his way to the ring.

Looking damn fine!

(courtesy of official WWE Facebook page)

But it wouldn’t be Team Hell No if they weren’t in one another’s face.  Counting down to that in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1

“After informing the WWE Universe that AJ is a “phenomenal kisser”, he and his fellow WWE Tag Team Champion argue about who is the official titleholder.”

-mad giggling- And was that not the line of the night?  Especially the way he said it!!

(courtesy of official WWE Facebook page)

Look at that expression on her face!  Betcha she was dying to say, “Right back atcha, big guy!”  Cos hey, I haven’t forgotten that scorching backstage kiss at No Way Out! 😉

And then things degenerate . . . as they do!

“As the ring erupts in chaos, AJ screams for everyone to “Stop it!”.”

Another one of my love AJ moments!

But what’s really amusing me is on the left there, DBryan up on his toes and he’s still not tall enough to actually get in Kane’s face as they’re bickering!

“This is my show, and probation or not, I am still the General Manager of Raw and what I say goes!” the Diva says.”

You go, AJ!!

“Team Hell No will face Punk & Ziggler in the main event of Raw!”

Main event – now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!

There’s no video of this on WWE.com but please, hit up You Tube to watch the sexiness that is Kane with his line of the night!  Plus AJ Lee being downright adorable – seriously, I just love her in the GM role!

Again from WWE.com:

WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No def. WWE Champion CM Punk & Dolph Ziggler

(courtesy of official WWE Facebook page)

Looks like Team Hell No is finally getting their groove: the infighting was minimal, the chemistry was strong and the end result was undeniable when the odd-couple champions picked up a win over WWE Champion CM Punk & Mr. Money in the Bank Dolph Ziggler, with Punk himself suffering the deciding pinfall of the evening.

There was one wrinkle that did threaten to derail the whole enterprise: Following a tense job evaluation at the hands of her “Executive Coach,” AJ Lee decided to prove her mettle as a leader by suiting up in the zebra stripes and taking the referee’s job for the evening’s main event. But despite her romantic history with the majority of the in-ring competitors, the Raw General Manager called the match fair and down the middle.

Punk & Ziggler worked surprisingly well together given their status as an odd couple. Ziggler mounted a strong offense against The Devil’s Favorite Demon when he locked the monstrous Tag Champion in a sleeper hold while Punk and Bryan briefly resumed their epic, technical rivalry when the two found themselves in the ring together. The mounting synergy of Team Hell No won out in the end, however, with Kane & Bryan executing a series of tandem moves and, despite a few unwanted tags, displaying a newfound proficiency and protectiveness toward each other. Kane, in particular, seemed incensed when Ziggler attempted to batter Bryan outside the apron.

Ultimately, the team that demanded the most validation found itself short when AJ ejected Paul Heyman and Vickie Guerrero. Vickie promptly commanded Ziggler to leave as well and The Showoff, though conflicted, obliged. With Punk left alone in the lion’s den, it fell to Kane to spell The Second City Saint’s doom with a bone-rattling Chokeslam that left The Voice of the Voiceless staring up at the lights.

True to form, Team Hell No couldn’t celebrate the victory without a little bit of infighting, as Kane and Bryan resumed their “I’m the Tag Team Champions” back and forth in Raw’s closing minutes. It would appear that true harmony (and CM Punk’s quest for validation) will have to wait at least one more week.

Kane 1 October 2012 – Team Hell No vs. CM Punk & Dolph Ziggler: Photos

“Daniel Bryan will team with fellow WWE Tag Team Champion, Kane, in the Raw main event.”

And another shot of Kane looking luscious under his red entrance lights.  Me likes!

“Will Team Hell No be able to put aside their differences for the tag team match?”

Unlikely!

Anyone else hoping that Dr Shelby has to come back for some more anger management therapy?  Cos man, those segments are just GOLD!

“Surprise! The special guest referee is Raw General Manager AJ Lee.”

Yay!

Oh yeah!  Take that, Ziggles – that’s what you get for wearing trunks that look like a damn baby’s diaper! 😉

Have I mentioned the phenomenal shape that Kane is in lately?  Because goddamn, he really is!

Plus?  Shoulderporn! 😉

“J.R. calls this match “Days of our WWE Lives” because of AJ’s past involvement with several of the competitors.”

“Several”? How about 3 outta 4? 😉

And while I’m glad Jerry Lawler’s getting better, it’s really cool to have JR on commentary!  #SauceIt!

And I’m also loving how dominant they’re finally allowing Kane to be as part of Team Hell No – but mark my words, if Rey Mysterio and Botch Cara end up being number one contenders, I’ll be headless.  And if they win? I say WE RIOT!

When will Ziggler learn this sleeper move just won’t work on Kane?  He’s too big, and too strong!

Mind you, love how it demonstrates Kane’s strength!

Another angle on the sleeper hold, courtesy of official WWE Facebook page

“AJ was a special guest referee at Money in the Bank when Daniel Bryan faced CM Punk.”

AJ who?  Totally distracted by shoulderporn! 😉

So, downside to Kane in tag matches is less time to see him in action.

Upside?  He’s is freakin’ priceless on the apron!  His facial expressions (even under the mask, because he’s that damn good as an actor) and his body language do as much to tell the story of the match as what’s happening inside the ropes!

Witness this shot!  Dismayed!  Dismayed, I tell you! 😉

“AJ tosses Heyman from ringside after he assists Punk by putting his foot on the ropes.”

I loved this!!  You tell him AJ!!

“After she tries to interfere, Vickie is also ejected from ringside.”

AJ – not very large but very much in charge!

Also, loving the pink middle rope for the Susan G. Komen campaign.  And how everyone’s wearing the pink ribbon!

“Ziggler follows Vickie, leaving Punk alone in the match.”

And on the receiving end of a diving clothesline from Kane!

Seriously love this move, mostly for the incredibly athletic way Kane lands and rolls out of it – like it’s nothing for a seven foot guy to leap from five feet up onto the mat with an unlucky opponent in the way.

“Kane seals Punk’s fate with a Chokeslam.”

So long, Punker – thanks for playing! 😉

(courtesy of official WWE Facebook page)

Oh, and sorry about that wedgie! -snickering-

“Team Hell No is victorious, and Bryan asks Kane for his WWE Tag Team Title.”

-snickering- I have the feeling that as a child, growing up with the Undertaker, Kane never really learned to share well!

And it devolved into the usual shouting match – love it!

WWE.com has match video here – enjoy!

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24 September 2012: RAW digitals – Kane

From WWE.com:

Kane & Daniel Bryan underwent further therapy exercises in a diner

Kane & Daniel Bryan undergoing role play therapy in a diner with Dr. Shelby supervising them.

Now that we have your attention, allow us to explain the good doctor’s latest tactic in bringing together the tumultuous Tag Team Champions, which involved Kane & Bryan breaking bread together at a local diner. Hoping to illustrate that Bryan and Kane could coexist outside of a competitive environment, Shelby orchestrated an elaborate role play where Kane, assuming the role of Gerald the friendly waiter, attempted to serve the “No!” man his meal. Suffice it to say, it did not go well, and vivid imagery of a man being dunked into the deep-fryer by his goat beard filled the heads of every patron in the establishment.

Hysterical video number 1, here!

Things improved slightly, however, when the two bonded over their dismantling of the tag team division the previous Friday on SmackDown. Even Mae Young was feeling the love as the two ecstatically re-enacted their opponents’ cries of pain as Kane & Bryan battered them about with chairs.

Hysterical video number two here!!

For the final “coup de grace,” however, Shelby endeavored to employ “identity therapy” by having Kane eat a bite of salad, while Bryan tried a meatball in an effort to “walk a mile in the other’s shoes.” Predictably, this ended poorly as well: Kane’s bite of lettuce provoked him to unleash a violent belch in Shelby’s face. Bryan got the worst of the exchange, howver, as the meatball provided such a shock to his system that the “No!” man violently upheaved into a speechless Shelby’s lap. And for the second time in as many weeks, Kane smiled.

And the final hysterical video is here!

I swear, those vids nearly killed me, I was laughing so much!

Again from WWE.com:

Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow attacked Team Hell No

Once again, the WWE Universe has spoken. Left to decide the official team name of Kane & Daniel Bryan via a RAWactive vote, the Universe spoke en masse and christened the bickering bros “Team Hell No” (in second place? “Team Friendship,” and oh, what might have been). No sooner had the moniker been unveiled, though, that Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow stormed the ring, stunning the Tag Team Champions and debuting a name of their own: “Team Rhodes Scholars.” The Rhodes Scholars didn’t stop there, however, seemingly laying down a challenge for Hell No’s Tag Team Titles. It would appear that chair attack from SmackDown has not been forgotten.

Kane 24 September 2012 – RAWActive: Kane & Daniel Bryan form Team Hell No

“WWE Tag Team Champion Kane makes another fiery entrance.”

Looking damn fine but how come he’s not wearing the big shiny package enhancer . . . errr, title belt? 😉

Amused! Apparently DBryan don’t like the ring pyros – lookit him in the background with his hands over his ears!

Also, lookit how damn sexy Kane is!

“Michael Cole is ready to announce the results of the RAWActive poll.”

I can once again see WWE staffers madly tweeting the “correct” answer to make sure they got the “right” result!

@TheMattFowler had an even better suggestion – he reckoned “The Brothers of Dysfunction” was a winner! I had to agree!

“The WWE Universe has voted, and Bryan & Kane’s new nickname is “Team Hell No”.”

It’s Hell No by a country mile! Actually, that’s probably a tough gig – tallying the hashtags, and getting the ring-ins tweeting just enough to make it look like there were some other people voting but making sure the right one wins.

If I were in a position to actually take part in RAWActive, man, I’d seriously want to fuck with them by tweeting the shit out of the obvious “wrong” choice hashtag! But that’s just me! 😉

Shoulderporn and magnificent thighs – need I say more? 😉

“Before Bryan & Kane could hug it out, Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes interrupt.”

My bad, I haven’t actually seen this whole segment yet, but aw – disappointed at no hugging! 😉

What the fuckety-fuck? WWE goes from having no goddamn tag team division to pulling new teams out of its ass on a weekly basis? Does this mean Vince has finally gotten over his hatred of tag teams? Or has someone worked out this is a way to use the vast majority of un-used talent they have in a holding pattern backstage every week?

“The WWE Tag Team Champions are left stunned in the ring.”

Well now, I don’t know about “stunned” but hey, Kane flat on his back is always good!

Oh my, more shoulderporn!

” “You did this to yourselves,” Sandow says.”

Waitasecond – the guy’s been with the company five goddamned minutes and he has his own t-shirt? And it doesn’t match those fruity purple trunks either!

” “Let’s talk real tag team names,” Rhodes mocks. “Damien Sandow. Cody Rhodes. Team Rhodes Scholars.” ”

Bwahahahahaha! Sure, give the guy a tag team name he can’t pronounce properly because of his lisp!

WWE.com has video here – enjoy!

Now, while Monday made it look like Team Rhodeth Thcholarth (-snickers-) would be going up against Team Hell No for the belts, SmackDown – which was Kane-free except for replays of the anger management scenes (barring the When Harry Met Sally one – guessing that was not family-friendly enough for SmackDown’s timeslot!) – saw Booker T set up a series to determine who’d get the shot at Hell In A Cell. Might well be Team Rhodeth Thcolarth, but we’ll see!

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