From WWE.com:
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. ā Somewhere in the swamps of Jersey, across the parking lot from the same MetLife Stadium where WrestleMania 29 will be held next year, Raw kicked off with the long-awaited finale of the Tag Team Tournament to determine the No. 1 contenders to Team Hell No’s Tag Championships at Hell in a Cell. And when all the dust had settled, it was Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow, Team Rhodes Scholars, who proved tougher than the rest and punched their ticket to face the formidable champions.
Still, Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara certainly made things interesting for the cocky Team Rhodes Scholars, utilizing their high-flying lucha skills to even the playing field against the coordinated beatdowns of Rhodes and Sandow. Team Rhodes Scholars made an early attempt to turn the tide of the match by taking the fight to the outside, but Rey & Sin Cara hit back with a seated senton and suicide dive, respectively, against their brainy opponents.
Rhodes & Sandow would soon find their rhythm, though. They pinned Sin Cara in their corner and proving the old adage correct that two hearts (or in this case, Superstars) are better than one by unleashing a tandem stomping that left The International Sensation dazed and confused until Sin Cara was able to retaliate with an enzuigiri that toppled Cody Rhodes to the ground. Rhodes bounced back nicely, though, tagging back in Sandow and continuing their divide-and-conquer strategy, keeping Sin Cara grounded with a series of attacks that included the Elbow of Disdain from Sandow.
The Mexican Icon found his second wind when Rhodes took him up for a superplex, though, unleashing a tornado DDT that allowed him to tag in Mysterio. The Ultimate Underdog stormed into the match with a week’s worth of pent-up fury, unleashing a stupendous sequence of offense against Rhodes before nailing both Scholars with a double 619 and Droppin’ the Dime on Cody for the win … until Sandow literally threw himself under the referee’s falling arm to disrupt the three-count. The distraction was sufficient opportunity for Rhodes to wrench Mysterio into Cross Rhodes and slam him down for the win.
The fun and games weren’t done, however, as Kane and Daniel Bryan appeared on the TitanTron, congratulating Team Rhodes Scholars on their victory. But as for whether the new No. 1 contenders would capture the twin championships at Hell in a Cell, the bickering champions had one message: “HELL NO!”
(And, fair warning – it’s an awful image-heavy post. Yay for Kane-centric RAW! š )
Kane 22 October 2012 – Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara vs. Team Rhodes Scholars: WWE Tag Team Championship No. 1 Contenders’ Final: Photos
“Kane and Daniel Bryan have a message for their future opponents.”
Well thank fuck it wasn’t Mysterio and Botch Cara! No, wait, that wasn’t it! š
“Will they win the Tag Team Championships? ‘Hell no!’ ”
WWE.com has video here. Most amused by Kane’s “magic trick”, where he does the “Now you see him” and then grabs DBryan by the beard to haul him behind for the “Now you don’t”!
From WWE.com:
Dolph Ziggler def. WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan
Dolph Ziggler was in the money on Raw Monday night when he squared off against Tag Team Champion (or Tag Team Champions, depending whom you ask) Daniel Bryan and, thanks to an inadvertent distraction from Kane, picked up a hard-fought win in IZOD Center.
Bryan and Ziggler built off their strong history of competition, stringing together a technically crisp contest that brought out the best in both Superstars and provided strong support for Bryan’s skill as a current champion and Ziggler’s as a potential future one. The match was dead even almost the entire way through; Bryan’s intricate mastery proved to be the perfect foil for The Showoff’s flashy dynamism. Each time Ziggler got a head of steam going, Bryan reversed Mr. Money in the Bank’s dizzying attacks into intricate holds like a surfboard and a Figure-Four Leglock. Ziggler seemingly gained the upper hand by suplexing Bryan off the apron and onto the outside area, but the flash, boom and burn of Kane’s entrance seemed to spell doom for The Showoff.
Kane’s presence seemed to galvanize Bryan into a late game run, as the “No!” man bounced between the ropes like a ping-pong ball before decking Ziggler with a clothesline. Bryan traded near-falls with The Showoff before Ziggler found his footing … and lost it just as quickly, missing a turnbuckle attack when Bryan dodged The Showoff’s leap, leaving Dolph to tumble painfully to the outside. Bryan countered with a high-risk attack of his own, and the two found themselves back into the ring. Ziggler struck fast, hitting a top-rope facebuster on the “No!” man, but Bryan rallied with a textbook kick to The Showoff’s head.
With victory in hand, Bryan seemed to set up for his final strike … until Kane decided to get the crowd riled up by instigating a “YES! YES! YES!” chant among the New Jersey faithful. This, of course, did not sit well with Bryan, and as the submission technician devolved into an irascible mess, Ziggler capitalized to hit Bryan with a top-rope Zig Zag for the victory.
The antics did not end there, however, as Team Hell No seemed ready to descend into physicality before Matt Striker made his presence known, announcing that Managing Supervisor Vickie Guerrero decreed Team Hell No would compete in a contest she referred to as “The NewlyTag Game” against Team Rhodes Scholars.
Kane 22 October 2012 – Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler: Photos
Being a supportive tag team partner . . . -snickering-
. . . oops. My bad? -still snickering-
God, these two just keep getting more and more amusing – I love it!
“Now honey, be reasonable – I was trying to help!”*
* May not be actual dialogue š
These two have their “WTF?” faces down pat!!
Man, Striker’s got some cohones, getting in the ring again with these two! Especially with this whacky idea of a game show!
From WWE.com:
Team Rhodes Scholars refused to compete in “The NewlyTag Game”
Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty, and meet Kane & Daniel Bryan tonight in the IZOD Center for “The NewlyTag Game,” where tag team partners can display how well they know each other, moderated by none other than Matt Striker. What could go wrong?
Well, funny you should ask.
Tag Team Champions Team Hell No began the game, with Daniel Bryan and Kane each taking a turn on the mic to tell the WWE Universe about themselves.
Bryan was up first. “My name is Daniel. I am a former World Heavyweight Champion. I do not have a goat face. I am ‘The World’s Toughest Vegan.’ And more important than anything, I’M THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.”
Kane responded with a surprising revelation or three: “My name is Kane. I’m a Scorpio. I enjoy long walks on the beach, rainbows and puppies.”
Well, actually, not quite. But Bryan’s contestation of that argument (“YOU DO LOVE RAINBOWS!”) led to a signature bickering session between the champions until Team Rhodes Scholars decided to intervene. But they had no plans to participate in the game, however, as Damien Sandow deemed the contest no less than “the putrefaction of society,” before the No. 1 contenders stormed off stage, leaving Team Hell No to claim victory by forfeit.
No sooner had Bryan celebrated their triumph, however, than Kane set his sights yet again on Matt Striker. Striker, however, high-tailed it out of the ring with minimal fanfare, pausing at the top of the ramp to toss some snide comments Team Hell No’s way before running face-first into Big Show. The World’s Largest Athlete wasn’t one for games, either, tossing Striker unceremoniously aside before stomping down to the ring for his match against Kane.
Kane 22 October 2012 – ‘The NewlyTag Game’ with Team Hell No: Photos
“Matt Striker is the host of ‘The NewlyTag Game’ with Team Hell No.”
And once again, seeing Kane fold that incredibly tall frame (and those long legs) into an ordinary sized chair just reinforces that this is a seriously big man.
Who is also seriously luscious!
“The therapeutic game show, courtesy of Vickie Guerrero, is for partners to get to know one another better.”
Which is probably in no way a good thing with these two!
So let’s just pause here to enjoy Kane sitting there in that chair, with those long long legs. And just a hint of shoulderporn.
. . .
. . .
Fuck me, that’s sexy!
Ahem.
Moving on!
š
” ‘My name is Daniel. I’m a former World Heavyweight Champion. I do not have a goat face! I am the world’s toughest vegan! And more importantly than anything else, I’m the Tag Team Champions!’ Bryan says.”
-snickering- And world’s tallest dwarf, you forgot that one, DBryan!
Also, distracted by Kane’s lips here . . .
Note to WWE photographers: see how when you focus on Matt Striker, the lusciousness that is Kane shoulderporn is all fuzzy and out of focus? Well fuck dat! Get your priorities right! We’re here for Kane, not Striker!
Striking a blow for Kane fangirls everywhere. I take no prisoners! (Well, except for Kane – I’d totally take him prisoner and keep him locked in my basement. Except I don’t have a basement.”
š
See? That’s better! We have in-focus shoulderporn and those lips again . . . man’s got some great lips.
“The game show’s other special guests are the new No. 1 contenders, Team Rhodes Scholars, who refuse to “participate in such facetious tomfoolery”, according to Damien Sandow.
(And Damien had to say that, cos there’s no way Cody could lisp his way through that mouthful! š )
“After Team Rhodes Scholars leaves, Striker declares Team Hell No the winners of the game, which Bryan is very excited about.”
Kane, not so much, I’m guessing! š
“As Striker refuses to wish Team Hell No good luck in their match at Hell in a Cell, Big Show appears.”
“Big Show stares down his opponent in the next match: Kane.”
Fuck me deaf, dumb and blind, that is one sexy shot!
How do I get me some of that? š
WWE.com has video here – not the complete segment, but it’s enough to hear Kane’s “I’m a Scorpio. I enjoy long walks on the beach, rainbows and puppies.” Which had me practically rolling on the floor laughing! Mr “I have no sense of humour” strikes again!
From WWE.com:
Big Show def. WWE Tag Team Champion Kane
When big collides with big, what unfolds is typically something along the lines of a Hollywood monster movie. Big Show and Kane’s clashes are similarly the stuff of WWE legend, and their battle Monday night lived up to the legacy of their previous ones. And after a thunderous fight, it was The World’s Largest Athlete who stood tall when the bell rang.
Show looked dominant heading into his World Heavyweight Championship Match with Sheamus at WWE Hell in a Cell, using his might to overpower Kane and prevent The Big Red Monster from getting into a groove against him. Show manhandled The Devil’s Favorite Demon and seemingly put Kane down for a quick defeat. But the Tag Team Champion rallied quickly, mounting an offensive strike against the giant and preparing to deliver the Chokeslam … until Team Rhodes Scholars materialized atop the stage, distracting the Tag Champions and giving Big Show the opportunity to fell Kane with a KO Punch for the 1-2-3, and allowing Team Rhodes Scholars to get the last word with an attack on Bryan. Safe to say the Tag Team Title Match at Hell in a Cell will be a must-see.
Kane 22 October 2012 – Kane vs. Big Show: Photos
Man, I know I say it all the time, but jeez, up against Show, Kane is looking positively tiny! Man is in simply phenomenal shape!
Wish there was a close up of this one – nothing better than that long lean frame stretched out like that!
But I’ll take this one, for a closeup of the shoulderporn! š
Oh, now this reminds me – an old school friend of mine, who I’m in contact with via Facebook, sent me a message a couple of months back to brag on how he’d met Big Show just out and about with his wife in Melbourne just before the WWE’s recent tour down under. Said he was a really nice bloke, and even got in good with Show’s wife by pointing her in the direction of a couple of good sales (my friend has a wife and daughter, so he knows where women like to shop!).
He also said “By god, he’s a big bugger!”
Well duh! š
And yes, I was jealous as hell, just like I was when my ex-hairdresser told me about her close encounter with John Cena in an airport in Serbia!
Upside down shoulderporn – and yes, you do have to be a big bugger to toss someone as big as Kane around like that!
Now, I could do without knowing Show is about to drop a massive elbow on Kane’s chest, but holy hells, leaving that aside, there is not much hotter than Kane laying there flat on his back like that!
I’d kinda like to have my arms wrapped around Kane . . . oops, did I say that out loud? š
Another angle on that bearhug, from Kane’s Official Facebook page.
Coincidence that when DBryan comes down to ringside for moral support, suddenly Kane starts getting some offence in? Or is this just WWE.com getting the digitals out of order, as they are wont to do?
(Have had one busy weekend and haven’t even seen Raw yet or I’d know for myself!)
Also, sidenote: I love how when JBL is on commentary and Scott Armstrong is the ref, he refers to Scott as #hardbodyref – see, JBL knows what’s happening on Twitter. Let him be the social media ambassador – forget paying random celebrities to say what you want them to. Because that sucks dead donkey balls.
Oops, yeah, spoke to soon about Kane getting some offense in!
Yeah! DDT, bitches! (Sorry, was channelling Jesse Pinkman there for a second!)
Squee! Diving clothesline! Love that move!
Another angle on that DDT, maybe – but man, yeah, loving that long lean torso all stretched back like that!
Show’s going for the cover, and Team Rhodes Scholars just showed up, if the look on DBryan’s face is anything to go by!
So, the beatdown by Rhodes Scholars, and we get treated to Kane laying there all luscious and man, he really has a fantastic ass!
-snickering- As @TheMattFowler said in this week’s Wrestling Wrap Up, “JR called Kane and Daniel Bryan “more dysfunctional than the Kardashians.” But…aren’t the Kardashians just dumb whores? Are they dysfunctional as a family? I’ve never watched anything with them in it so y’all will have to correct me if I’m off base. Still though. Dat ass! On Kane. Amirite?”
Nice to know Matt and I agree on that! (Seriously, read that at work and almost hurt myself from not killing myself laughing!)
And now we get him flat on his back, although the photographer’s totally on the wrong side of the ring . . .
And some shoulderporn to round it out . . .
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The Brothers of Destruction 